Coffee and Crepes

The Love and Hatred of Tim Tebow

2012-01-11T10:53:00.006-06:00

I have looked my cynicism in the face and I don’t like it. Let’s be honest - I love sarcasm, love cynical commentary, love the way my generation thinks most of the time. The search for the authentic, the desire to question everything, the true pursuit of truth, I love those things. The desire for things that are not flashy or gaudy we want real… those are the things that I value, the things that “x’ers” value.

Enter in Tim Tebow. We hate him. I know there is a love/hate affair with him right now, but I bet if you polled Christian leaders in their 30’s, at best most would roll their eyes at Tebowmania. I get it, he prays during the football game. I mean, the whole game. Tebowing is a “thing” cause that really is what he does on the sideline. Come one, everyone knows that God doesn’t care who wins a football game… and it appears that he is praying for his team to win (and he may be). I get it. I think the same thing – repeatedly. He comes off as goofy during his interviews sometimes… it’s like he’s scripted it, “First, I want to thank Jesus, and my teammates, etc. “ I guess we mix that, with the fact that he has some shortcomings at QB, and the fact that he’s everywhere we turn, cause us to dislike the man.

Why? I have a suspicion that the reason is because we realize that right now he is the face of evangelism… and he’s not like us. He isn’t parked in a coffee-shop, doesn’t have the cool glasses, isn’t calling every Christian leader into question, and he doesn’t seem to care to prove he’s better than his critics say he is. We hate Tim because he’s not like us, yet he represents us.

I have to tell myself to get over it. The man is a bit over the top, yes, but he is using his platform to represent Christ the way he knows how to. No, his faith and techniques of evangelism may not be as “mature” as mine, whatever that means. However, it seems as if, as much as I hate to admit it, that it is authentic. Win or lose he thanks God. Win or lose he is gracious. Win or lose he thanks the Lord and his teammates for allowing him to get paid to play a child’s game. The same shtick… for the last 6 or 7 years. Talk about consistency, talk about authentic, he is. I guess my problem has been he is not “authentic” the way “I” would be. Lord, have mercy on me.
The man built a hospital in the Philippines for Cure. Cure helps sick children in countries where there is no one to help, where when women and children get sick, they die. The man does thank God for the ability to play a game, sometimes well and sometimes not well, every time. He desires to hang out with those “less fortunate” than him – the sick, the handicapped, the broken. He does turn the other cheek when people speak out against him, and he seems to fight the urge to “repay evil for evil.” And he does try and use his platform to further the Kingdom.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that against my very nature, I am a Tim Tebow fan. I will root for him (unless he’s playing my bucs) for as long as he is able to play. And yet I realize that he is human. He is fallible. He is fallen. His image right now is “squeaky” clean, yet he is still a sinner. Hopefully not, but there may come a day when he is caught up in sin publically. I guess my hope is that I won’t take that as my chance to say, “Aha!” and scoff with the scoffers. I guess if and when he falls that may be the time that I should root for him the most.

Jr. High Youth Group

2008-09-04T13:31:00.003-06:00

We had our first Jr. High Youth group of the fall last night. It was fun, I bought a new blender, and put someone in charge of our first dollar challenge. He may have really outdone himself, as there were all kinds of people running to the trash can!

It's weird, my methodology really did not change too much from Jr. High youth group in Newburgh...

Oh well! We had a good time!

Block Party: A dream realized.

2008-08-25T15:53:00.012-06:00

This is the invitation I received inviting me to the block's party:

I made it out there about 6, with Banana Creme Pie in hand

The guy in the yellow shirt there is our unofficial Block Mayor (Kind of like Assistant to the Regional Manager).

The city brought out barricades to block off our street (for a fee of course), Daniel brought out tables from the church and they were placed in the middle of the block .

Daniel and Emily (music minister and wife) manned a "match the dog with the correct house" contest. Daniel made up some pretty slick color posters for this, and the winner matched all 9 pets to people's homes. There was also a trophy for best yard (go figure, I didn't win) and a 50/50 raffle.

One of the guys on our block has a bunch of DJ equipment, so he set up an awning and DJ'd the event.

Before dinner was served, some fire-fighters came out and taught the children of the block fire safety, and showed off their truck. They stayed and ate with us!
Here is my plate of food. There was a huge spread! Several different kinds of The GBC (Green Bean Casserole, my favorite) and pulled pork, and all kinds of dessert. The west side brought desserts and the east side brought sides. We had a 90% block turnout, so that equaled a lot of food!

After dinner there were some presentations. I was introduced as the new guy on the block, and the winners of the contests were announced. I won the 50/50 raffle, 37 large!

After that, people volunteered to give some tours. Last year 7 showed their homes, and this year 2 volunteered theirs. It was nice to be in your neighbor's homes and be able to meet them where they are.

So what's the point? I think for me, the point is, that there is no point. Daniel was thanked for all the work that he did, and it was mentioned from the announcer that he worked at the church a block away. I was mentioned as the new guy on the block, and that I worked there as well. That was pretty much were that talk ended. I think it is amazing to be able to live in community with your neighbors, to be in their houses, to eat and share life with them. One hopes and prays that at some point, there will be a chance for some conversation to happen that will share the very words of life to your friends, but until that time comes... simply living and loving your neighbors is more than enough. It's what we are here for.

1 We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

24and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. 25Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Some Updates:

2008-08-23T09:48:00.003-06:00

I pulled my hamstring last night at a Jr. High swim party. It hurts a lot.

Today is my block's party!

This video is funny!

I know, I am boring!

Update

2008-08-07T13:40:00.001-06:00

Hi guys! I made it to Kenya safe and sound, Today was our first day doing our health clinics - Laura and I saw and treated 45 families.

All I can really say is that I am completely overwhelmed. I was fine all day and then I sat down on the bus and had to literally get up and walk around to stop myself from weeping. There just is so much to do - soebs knows the song by rich mullins - where it talks about the morning coming so soon and being so tired but so much work left to do... I am completely overwhelmed.

But I am blessed - blessed beyond belief. I was able to give such simple simple medications that literally saved some little kids lives. I was able to set up and entire family to get them started on antiretroviral drugs for HIV - it's been amazing.

Funny story - this family had 3 sets of twins and all the twins had the same names with the number 1 or 2 after! So I saw Kevin 1 and Kevin 2 today! :)

I will try to keep in touch - lots of love to you all.
SoeYun

I know, I am so behind the times!

2008-08-07T09:02:00.002-06:00

But Wentz just showed me this guy! Funny stuff!

Off to see the giraffes!

2008-08-04T12:43:00.006-06:00

SoeYun is off to Kenya today. She is going with a team of doctors and nurses with her church to go serve Jesus! Her favorite animal is the giraffe, and I hope she glances up and gets to see one as she saves people's lives and tells them about the love of Jesus! I am so proud of her, and extremely jealous!

If you remember, please pray for her!

Thanks God!

2008-07-29T12:43:00.002-06:00

There are some times that God tells you... "You know, here is a little gift for you. Just to let you know that you are on the right track."

God has given me a few of those lately. Today in staff meeting, we had a discussion... on block parties.

If you know me well at all in the last few years, you have heard me talk about block parties. I have talked about how we need to be doing them, we need to be intentional about them, etc. I don't mean block parties out in the church parking lot, I mean block parties that you organize with people, *gasp*, on your block!

Today in staff meeting, one of the issues that was on the agenda was block parties. Obviously, I was curious about what they would say about them.

Currently, there are two staff members that are talking about them. Our music minister's block is having one, and our senior minister is wanting to do one. John's block does them quite frequently. The discussion today was about how to take church money and support them.

We are talking about letting them use tables and chairs for free, we are talking about using outreach budget to furnish some things, like bounce houses and food. We are talking about doing outreach with the express purpose of reaching out to our neighbors, regardless of whether they go to our church, the church down the street, or if they even go to church at all!

There have been several God moments already in the last couple weeks that I have been here. Thanks God for talking... I am trying to listen!

Here is to my guys!

2008-07-18T22:15:00.003-06:00

Monday nights are going to be really tough. For the last year or so, I have been meeting with some dear, dear friends to argue, er, discuss theology.

These are some of the best times I have had in my short life. Joe, Eric, Darin, Scott, et al., you guys pushed me, you guys challenged me, you guys helped me grow. Thanks for making me think about church in a new light, christians in a new light, and especially God in a new light. I needed that, I am a better man and minister because of those discussions. God really was there when we gathered.

I love you guys a ton, thanks for everything!

Oh ya, and Bill, thanks for making me think about predestination all the time.

The superfriends!

2008-07-18T12:27:00.002-06:00

I remember near the end of my Junior year of college having this dream. The dream was that a group of us guys, all brothers for several years at Lincoln, would form a team. A team of Superfriends, with the express purpose of doing ministry together.

I would do youth ministry, Toad would administrate, Lowery would preach, John would evangelize, John Hughes would do something... anyway I have made that dream one step closer. I have joined Wentz at Southside Christian Church, and I think it's going to be a lot of fun. Toad, we are waiting for you!

Batman was awesome! Just got back from it. I think I need to see it again! I loved it. Heath Ledger was crazy!

You know what's amazing? You never realize the depth of crazy until you remove yourself from crazy.

I am going to blog more. I have stuff to talk about!

Closing time...

2008-07-03T08:51:00.002-06:00

It's official, my time in Newburgh is up. I have taken a youth ministry position at Southside Christian Church in Springfield, Il. My last day here is July 14th. I have learned a lot and grown up a lot here, and cannot wait to get started with a new work... in central Illinois. :)

Anyway, I am excited for what the future holds, and am at the same time sad t0 say goodbye to my many friends here.

To everyone: Thanks for all the love and support.

Yup, check out this hog.

2008-06-11T12:27:00.003-06:00

Picked this bad boy up yesterday. 45 mph and 80 miles a gallon, 'nuff said.

Ummmm... anyone think this is a bad idea?

2008-05-31T09:18:00.003-06:00

Skynet military launch postponed

"The launch of the third and final satellite in the UK's next-generation military space communications network has been delayed by a few days."

Is anyone else wishing that maybe we wouldn't let this happen at all? I mean seriously, haven't we learned anything?

"Software on the launch vehicle did not behave normally during a test sequence."

Big shocker...

Skynet 5 is intended to provide British forces with a secure, high-bandwidth
capability through to 2020.
A successful launch will complete the in-orbit part of the £3.6bn project.
Additional work has included upgrades to ground stations and the installation of new antennas and terminals on military ships, planes and land vehicles.Taken together, the three Skynet spacecraft - known as 5A, 5B and 5C - will provide coverage from the Americas to Asia."

Of course it will... until the day it becomes self-aware and then all of Hades breaks loose!

Ummm... Indiana Jones... I hardly knew you.

2008-05-23T08:06:00.002-06:00

What was that? Memo to George Lucas: You don't have it anymore.

Mystery Solved... Still Amazing!

2008-04-01T14:07:00.001-06:00

I did some research on the painting elephant...

"Just for clarification, with these realistic figural works, the elephant is still the only one making the marks on the paper but the paintings are learned series of brushstrokes not Hong painting a still life on her own."

Does this mean something?

2008-03-31T07:51:00.000-06:00

De Plane Boss, De Plane.

2008-03-17T08:49:00.007-06:00

My Sister and I all got matching Tatoos!

They are all ancient Korean symbols of birth order.

Mine (First Son):

SoeYun's (Oldest Daughter):

KeyLyn (Youngest Daughter):

I am in love with this girl!

2008-02-25T00:19:00.001-06:00

How 'bout them Patriots?

2008-02-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

O.k., so, I don't admit this very often, but a part of me likes the Patriots. I was rooting for them yesterday, but it seems to me that the Giants, "out-patrioted," the Patriots.

I remember the Superbowl following the 2001 season where the Pats faced the Rams. The Rams were heavy favorites, and rightly so. They were of course, the "fastest show on turf." I was rooting for the Rams pretty hard that year, and thought that the "lucky team" from New England had no shot. I remember the introductions very vividly that year, the Rams all being introduced individually, which was perfectly normal. What wasn't so normal though was the Patriots introductions. "The New England Patriots have requested to be introduced as a team." After which they all ran on the field together. I remember an announcer, or maybe someone where I was watching the game saying, "uh oh."

They then did what the Patriots do. They kept it close by playing great defense, til the 4th quarter in which Tom Brady marched down the field to win a close game at the end.

I remember being impressed by that, both Tom Brady's cool-headedness and the introduction thing.

Ever since then, I have admired the Patriots attitude of "no one is bigger than the team attitude. You want more money, or want to hold out? Alright, you can go find it somewhere else." In an era of Keyshawn Johnson's, that is such a breath of fresh air. Randy Moss this year took a major paycut to play for this team. They told him, this is what we have for you, we would love to have you, but this is all we are going to do. They told that to the best wide receiver in the game!

Anyway. I watched the highlights of the Giants stepping off the plane all dressed in matching black suits and sunglasses, and thought to myself... "Uh oh." And then the Giants did what the Patriots usually do. Kept it close into the fourth quarter, and then won it at the end.

Hats off to the New York Giants.

SoeBeck's Principles of Youth Ministry

2008-01-17T11:01:00.000-06:00

So, my one adoring reader asked me to please post something new, so here you go.

I have a fundamental principle in youth ministry. For all of those youth ministers out there, pull up a chair and listen up, because I have some sage advice for you:

Don't do lock-ins. Seriously, they are evil and of Satan.

Now, I don't really like Lock-outs either, overnight events where you move around every few hours to different places - i.e. bowling alley, ice-rink, etc., such as the one we are doing tomorrow night. Lock-outs though are 100 times better than lock-ins, and are necessary to do once a year or so to get everyone off your back to have a lock-in.

Of the devil, I'm telling you.

Also of the devil are Gym's, like the one I just joined. That's what I am looking forward to the most about heaven, awesome abs with no working out. Yup, that's what I look forward to the most.

Oh, and the hanging out with our Lord and Saviour.

Is there going to be sex in heaven? That is a fun topic to discuss. This guy thinks, yes.

I'm out.

The Physics of Santa

2007-12-25T15:24:00.001-06:00

The Physics of Santa Claus

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, and assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of his sleigh, jump down the chimnye, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking aabout .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 punds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (refer to point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal load, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entereing the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per SECOND, EACH! In short, hey will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousanths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal* forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead by now.
* Please note that centrifugal is a made-up non existent word. The real word should be centripetal. Centrifugal is a made up force that physics people HATE! So please, everyone use the world centripetal, not centrifugal. Thanks!

Oh darn that first digit!

2007-12-21T09:07:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow I turn 30. Wow. Life is never how you picture it. Thanks be to God for life, and life abundantly.

At a loss...

2007-12-18T17:13:00.000-06:00

Holly and I broke up this last Saturday. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through, and I have been through quite a bit in this short life. I am hopeful as ever that we may get things worked out someday soon and live happily ever after*... but for now that seems to be on hold. Thanks for everyone's concern and well wishes. I am blessed to have such great friends and family in my life.

*I know things are never happily ever after, thank-you very much.

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I'm singing hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

I know, I never post.

2007-12-07T09:16:00.000-06:00

I have had some major life things going on, it will all be resolved soon. I will be around more then, I promise!

In the meantime here is Zombie Love! It's in 2 parts. After you watch the first, there will be a link for the second. Making that was a lot of fun!

See you all soon.

New Movie Starring Yours Truly...

2007-11-15T23:41:00.000-06:00

Well, maybe not starring me, but I'm in it nonetheless!

Here is the trailer!

Pat Robertson = Hypocrite

2007-11-07T09:50:00.000-06:00

What in the world? I already disliked you plenty.

How in the world can you back a candidate that you disagree with on almost every social issue, merely because he has a chance to defeat Hilary. For shame.

Oops!

2007-10-30T12:24:00.001-06:00

We have been doing church wrong for years!

We have it figured out now though, so come buy our new tell-all book for only 19.95!

It will tell you how we screwed up real bad.

Not to toot my own horn...

2007-10-24T09:24:00.001-06:00

But this weeks podcast may be the best one we have ever done! Get it HERE.

To see our other 3 new ones go to Darin's Blog.

Peace.

Finally!

2007-10-12T09:05:00.000-06:00

The first couple episodes of "The Office" this year were funny, but not hysterical. I started questioning whether or not the show could pull off an hour. Then last nights episode...

Pure magic!

"It's like eating a hot circle of garbage."

Michael and Dwight discussing the decision to hold the pizza boy hostage:
“You had to! What other choice did you have?”
“I could have paid for the pizza!”

“get back to selling multiple reams like a man!”

The part where Andy was getting the little nods from Jim when Jim was mocking him was great.

So many more quotes. It took a few episodes, but I got an episode where I laughed from start to finish. Here is to the greatest show on TV!

News Mishap

2007-09-28T15:55:00.000-06:00

Brant called and told me about this incident that happened at a local station down where he lives last weekend. He kept waiting for it to pop-up on you tube. Well, here it is:

I love this commercial!

2007-09-19T12:36:00.000-06:00

Man, love that music from the Last of the Mohicans!

Fascinating and Heartbeaking.

2007-09-12T09:45:00.000-06:00

Read this article about 7 women's stories about abortion. Not a Christian publication by any means.

My Dad

2007-09-10T13:05:00.001-06:00

KeyChun Song is pretty amazing. He can windmill kick you in the face in an instant, he can heal you by sticking needles in you and making you drink the nasty stuff, and he can mesmerize you with a story. He is a great man. Not that he doesn't have his flaws (like we all do). He is hard-headed and has a bit of a temper. He is a proud man, sometimes to a fault.

Being with him in Korea was like that a bit. He had moments of being wonderful and moments of being a bit boorish (I will admit that I am not accustomed to being with my parents for 24 hours a day anymore either). There is a day I will never forget though, and shows me just how much my Dad has grown.

I explained in my last blog entry (I know it has been awhile) a little bit about how my Dad's sister and her husband (whom are both ministering in my Great-grandfather's church) were raising a fuss about it being the "80th" anniversary, and not the "75th". I would like tell you what my Dad did in light of that situation. Like I alluded to before, the first son is the top of the food chain in asian culture. What people don't understand about Asians, and especially Koreans, is how fiercely proud of a people they are. I think we see them in this country as being polite and respectful and small in stature, and we think they are such a humble and unassuming people. Please, don't believe that for one second. :) They will put their families in financial ruin, because they cannot be seen as lesser in the eyes of others, or admit they are erred or flawed in some way. Pride is something that asian males just have.

My dad is no different, although I have seen improvement in this over the years. When my Dad and I were talking about Aunt Doki that morning that he got the call to come speak, he told me that he was going to go their church service that night. He told me that he was going to speak to them from the Bible and be done with it. He hoped that they would hear what he had to say, but he wasn't going to worry about it. He was just going there to speak the truth and let that play out. This was a big deal in itself. Like I said before, it was expected that his younger siblings would come to him. Yet, this was my Dad, the first born, going and seeking them out. Which is pretty much a social no-no. Anyway, that was his plan.

We went sight-seeing that day, and had my uncle drop the three of us off at their church building so that we could attend their Wednesday night service. We went up to the second floor where they were holding the church service, and saw they had already started. My mom and I quietly slipped in the back and saw that their church service consisted of my aunt, her husband, and one other lady. My Dad told me later that his heart broke when he saw that. He told me that he went from wanting to be right and see justice, to just wanting to cry. My aunt saw my Dad walk in, and lost it. She started sobbing in the middle of the singing. My Dad again, went over to her and consoled her. He helped her find the page of the song they were singing, and helped her turn to the scripture they were reading. You could hear his voice reading over all the others. After the sermon, we all went downstairs and met in their office. We all sat down, and I watched my Dad speak softly to my Aunt and Uncle. He let them air their grievances, and while he didn't necessarily agree with what they had to say, he let them say their piece anyway. He spoke to them tenderily, lovingly, and yet sternly at times. He allowed Jesus to show up. We all talked after awhile and things were better. Much of the tension was relieved, and all seemed ok. We got up to leave, and as my Dad stepped out of the building, he turned to my Aunt and handed her all the cash in his wallet. He told her it was for the church, and to use it for the work of the body.

My Dad has come a long way. The Lord has started a work in him, that one day will be completed in Heaven.

Impressions of Korea: It's Huge.

2007-08-22T13:36:00.002-06:00

I had an awesome trip to the Motherland, Seoul, South Korea. I guess it has changed a lot since the last time I was there, some 26 years ago. Allow me to say that 20 hours on a plane is brutal. No matter how comfy the seats, or if you have "300", "Zoolander", and the "Matrix" on the I-pod, it is just a long, long time to sit. Here are Papa and Mama Song chillin' on the plane before take off.

22 hours later...

We landed in Incheon (about an hour outside of Seoul) Sunday, about 4 pm (our flight left Saturday morning about 6 am). There were several of my Dad's siblings (my dad is the first of 10 kids) waiting for us. It was neat to get to meet some of them for the first time that I can remember.

We were wisked away to a church service at the president of the convention's church. I was absolutely exhausted, and don't remember too much about that night. I know that I was really happy to get to my hotel room.

The morning we got up and went to the pharmacy district so that my dad could purchase some books about Herbal Medicine. I took the chance to walk around a bit and check out the city a little bit. If you include the entire metro area around Seoul, the city is 20 million people. There are people and cars and buildings everywhere. It truly is massive. There are vendors on the streets that sell things like plants, and food, and bread.

This is more of the East Gate district of Seoul.

I guess this is a good time to explain the reason we went to Seoul in the first place. The Korean Christian Churches/Churches of Christ were celebrating their 75th anniversary. They have a conference every year, kind of like the North American Christian Convention for the Christian Churches here in the states. My great-grandfather started the Christian Church/Church of Christ movement in Korea along with the first Christian College. It was bizarre because there was no American Christian Church missionary or anyone that came over to evangelize Korea. My great-grandfather just read the scriptures and decided to simply call his churches, "Christian churches." Years later when the Christian churches sent missionaries to Korea, they were informed they already had some christian churches (you already have some? They say they already have some. Yes, it's very nice). It is interesting as well to point out that the practices of the Christian church there, are almost identical to the Christian churches in the States. Water baptism, communion every week, etc. After my great-grandfather passed, my grandfather continued to plant churches and pastor the first church my great-grandfather started. Anyway, the 75th anniversary was a big deal, obviously, so they wanted to celebrate the legacy that my great-grandfather had left behind. They asked the my Father and I be there to accept a commendation on behalf of the Song family. This is my dad at the Hotel before the ceremony.

Of course before the ceremony, we had to eat some korean food. I ate korean food all week and wanted more! Every where I went I asked if they served dog, as I was determined to eat dog while I was there. Every time I asked I was looked at with a worried look, as if the mere question was insulting. Whatever, I know they have it somewhere, but I never got any.

This is the opening of the 75th anniversary celebration. It was pretty awesome.

This is my Dad accepting the "major award" on stage. He was so proud.

Later that night, we skipped out on the Robert Shuler sermon (I was already thinking positively) and went to my aunt Hyun-Sook's house. She has an art shop on the first floor from which she sells pottery and ceremics which she makes. She is very talented.

The next morning I was going a little crazy because I hadn't had a chance to explore Seoul. So, I woke up early, strapped on my backpack, and started walking in the rain. It was incredible, even though I couldn't find an umbrella! The fourth picture there is a coffee shop I stopped in to get dry, drink some warm coffee, and ring my socks out (the workers were excited about that). I also took a moment to read the old bible and the day's letter that Holly gave me when I left.

This is a picture of one of the Budhist Temple's in the city. I felt sorrow for the many, many people that are in the bondage of worshipping a false God. I took a moment to pray for them and the many westerners that come to visit places like this every year.

Mmmmm... diet Coke.

The last morning of the convention, Wednesday, both my dad and woke up at 5 am. We just talked about our week and started to talk about why my Aunt Doki hadn't come to see us. My dad is the first son, which means that the younger siblings are to seek him out. And my Aunt Doki hadn't even so much as called. I knew that there was something going on, so I asked him about it. He told me that Doki and her husband (who were now pastors at my great-grandfather's original church) were really upset at the convention because they said that he didn't start the first christian church 75 years ago, but rather 80. They wrote letters to newspapers and were boycotting the ceremony because of it. They also informed my one of my aunts that if my dad came to be a part of the ceremony, that my Dad would be considered an enemy. My dad told me that he was just excited that someone wanted to recognize the legacy of the Song family, and that a number wasn't really that important. He went and took a shower, and while he was in the shower, he was praying that being the last day of the conference, if God wanted him to give him a chance to speak, he would be open to speaking. After he got out of the shower, he received a phone call from the convention, asking if he would want to come and speak later that morning. The picture above is one of the many that he took after he got done speaking.

After the conference ended about noon, my uncle Chungee rented a van, and we took a tour of Seoul.

This is Yoido, Full Gospel Church. The largest church in the world. They claim 200,000 + a weekend. That 9 or 10 story building is their children's ministry area. They have another behind it for the teens.

This is the campus of Seoul Foreign School, the school my mom taught at. I spent the first 2 years of my life living here.

This is Seoul Christian University. The president of the school offered me a free scholarship to get my masters and doctorate if I wanted to.

This is the hospital I stayed at when I had Spinal Meningitis. I was 3 months old.

This is the Chosun Dynasty Palace. This palace was built in 1310 and the Chosun Dynasty lasted until 1910.

This is the Ramada Seoul, the hotel we stayed at while we were there.

The next day, we got up, and drove to the airport. 20 more hours on a plane, and I was home.

The end.

I'm Home, sort of.

2007-08-11T09:33:00.000-06:00

Sleeping patterns are all jacked up.

Good to be home. Trip was awesome. Will have pics and a post about said trip soon.

I've been at camp and getting ready for Korea, Sheesh!

2007-08-01T08:06:00.000-06:00

Alright, so maybe nobody has said anything about my absence, but I figured I should explain anyway.

I leave to go to Chicago with my Dad tonight so I can get my passport tommorrow. I am excited to get this journey started. I will have lots of pictures when I return!

2007-07-13T13:24:00.000-06:00

So, a few weeks back a group of us shot this movie. We chopped it to 4 parts and slapped it on YouTube. Think of Christopher Guest and all his mockumentary glory. I hope you like it - it was fun to make.

Part I:

Part II:

Part III:

Part IV:

Oh, Ko-re-a! Our home and native land!

2007-07-05T14:22:00.000-06:00

I am going to Korea!

Crazy story! My mom saw Lincoln Christian College's publication they send to Alumni, and saw that LCC is now partnering with a Christian College in Seoul. My mom showed my dad, who in turn informed us that was the college that my great-grandfather started 75 years ago. He calls the school over there, and they were glad he called because they are having a commemoration service to celebrate the life of my great grandfather, and the 75th anniversary of the school. My dad told him what he had been up to the last 25 years of so, and that I went to LCC. This excited them, and they asked if I could come too.

I leave for Seoul August 4th.

"You cut me Oswald... You cut me deep."

2007-06-21T08:25:00.000-06:00

"The continual grubbing on the inside to see whether we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, morbid type of Christianity, not the robust, simple life of the child of God."

"Launch out in reckless belief that the Redemption is complete, and then bother no more about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said - pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints, pray for all men. Pray on the realization that you are only perfect in Christ Jesus, not on this plea - "O Lord, I have done my best, please here me.""

2007-06-19T08:03:00.000-06:00

This is the solution to a church's problems... Just hire this guy.

I mean seriously, with the clapping?

2007-06-18T13:02:00.000-06:00

This weekend I am marrying off two great friends, Rob Strauss and Brooke Tichenor. These two have been friends of mine since high school, and I am really looking forward to it!

I come home for a day, and then turn around and am leading 27 people to Bushnell, IL. I am excited about Cornerstone this year. True, I am not as crazy about the lineup in as in years past, but I am pretty excited about the Seminars on N.T. Wright, and checkin' out some J-Pop in the imaginarium. That would be stealing Darin's thunder though, so I won't go there.

Sorry there hasn't been much posting lately, but church stuff, gas pumper boy, boyfriend hasn't had a lot of free time lately. Oh, and my computer was out of commission for a few days. Ya, so get off my back!

2007-06-01T08:18:00.000-06:00

How about that Cavaliers game last night? That was insane! Lebron is really good.
And Utah really stunk it up in their last game. Let's face it though, San Antonio is a better team. I am officially a Jazz fan though, I cannot watch them and not get a little nostalgic about my '05 Illini.

Tuesday is the 5th year anniversary of my stroke. I rarely think about that time anymore. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I love you guys.

Ewwww, ewww, ewwwww.

2007-05-24T13:24:00.001-06:00

Moms, don't you hate when your child is sick and all congested? Never fear, the Swedish have designed a product to help your suffering child. Simply stick this tube into their nose, and then suck their snot into your mouth. Only $15.00 plus shipping.

Oh the memories.

2007-05-24T13:01:00.000-06:00

Darin is taking a greek class for seminary, and so I was going through my greek book to see if he could use it (He couldn't, Mounce put out a second edition). Tucked in the pages was this note from my friend Jamie. This brought back floods of memories of me and her, me and Bethann, me and pretty much whoever would pay attention to me, sitting in IDS class. Me drawing and writing notes, not paying any attention to the lectures at all(Click on the picture to make it bigger):

I think that pretty much sums it up. This was probably sophomore year, Jamie assuming that we were both going to be married by 2003. Thinking that we would both have kids, and still being rebellious and smoking "after the kids go to bed of course." Jamie talking about smoking the "phat" stuff, you knew she wasn't talking about weed. She was talking about cigars. That was the extent of our rebellion. Sneaking out in the middle of the night to smoke cigars. Oh, how young and silly we were.

Well, it's almost 4 years past that invitation, and I am still unmarried with no kids, and she doesn't want any. And we are both very, happy. Funny how life changes.

So, I started this new job...

2007-05-14T08:27:00.000-06:00

I now work 2 nights a week at Swifty Gas Station. It is a little hole in the wall gas station, that has nothing inside, and they sell nothing but gas and cigarettes. What makes people go there you ask?

They pump the gas.

No extra charge, in fact many times they are the cheapest gas in town. And they do all the work, *sigh* I guess "we" do all the work.

Holly filled out the app for me since my handwriting is so bad, I may not have been able to "get a job at a gas station", and she wrote for position desired... gas pumper boy.

I was hired the next day.

Back to life, back to reality...

2007-05-11T08:46:00.000-06:00

Quick photo diary of the week in Florida:

Holly and I were ready to leave about 4 pm on Monday afternoon. We were going to drive through the night and get to her parents house in Naples, Florida, really early in the morning. That is when the master brake cylinder decided to die on Holly's car. 2 hours and $250 later we were on hour way.

She drove I slept, I drove she slept, we listened to many Mark Driscoll sermons, and finally we arrived in Naples.

We hung out in her parents pool (their house is beautiful), and went to bed early seeing as how we were exhausted from our trip.

Wednesday we went to the developments club house, and enjoyed the pool and waterfalls. Awwww, we are so myspace.

Thursday, we drove to Clearwater, and picked up my folks from the airport. We then attended my sister's graduation from nursing school. It was great. SoeYun handed the announcer a card right before she read SoeYun's name: SoeYun "The Awesome" Song. Yup, she read it just like that too!

The entire fam outside the graduation.

The next morning we woke up at 5 am and went deep sea fishing:

SoeBeck tried to kiss Holly, but Holly wasn't having it.

soebs being slick however, whispered sweet nothings in her ear, and she relented.

How did they do that?

Look at my Mom and Dad! They are so cute!

Finally after about an hour on the boat we started fishing. And SoeYun started catching, and catching, and catching fish.

Puffer fish...

Trigger fish...

Sushi fish...

Then Holly started catching the species known as microscopic fish...

Then soebs got into the act...

SoeChun really dug the puffer fish... He kept pissing it off to make it puff up.

Look at all the fish that soebs caught!

Never fear, the fish were put to good use! We had a fish fry, and ate fish tacos to our hearts content!

The next day was spent at the beach...

and buried Soech...

We then started the long journey home. Holly's car was acting up, so we had a mechanic friend of mine come look at the vehicle. He was nice and fixed the part for us so that we wouldn't have to buy a new part. We ended up leaving about noon on Monday, and were excited to get home and sleep in our own beds.

Unfortunately, we should have bought the new part.

100 miles outside of Evansville, at about 3 am, the car died.

We tried to start it.

Over.

and over.

and over.

Finally we called Triple A, and got a tow to a firestone.

Where we napped for 3 hours til they opened at 7 am.

Finally, 5 hours (and $275) later we began our final 100 miles home.

We missed the exit though, and ended up in metropolis, IL.

We got turned around and began our last 100 miles home.

Throughout it all. Holly and I never fought, never got sick of each other, and after we got home Tuesday afternoon, we got cleaned up and spent some more time together. What's up now, Toad?

Fin.

On the road again...

2007-04-30T10:18:00.000-06:00

Holly and I are headed down to Florida this Afternoon. We will head to Naples to see her Dad and Step-mom, and then to Clearwater to watch my sister graduate from Nursing School. Please pray for us as we drive if you get a chance today! See you at the beach! Oh, wait no I won't... suckers.

Overheard...

2007-04-26T13:32:00.000-06:00

Our church is trying to raise some money to pay off some debt on the new building. We hired Injoy Stewardship Services to help us raise money. It's a John Maxwell thing, but that's another topic for another day.

The Injoy guys called a meeting with the staff, and they shared with us the vision of what we are trying to do with the campaign. It has some very good ideas in how to get a big majority of the church to get involved.

One of the guys said something that bugged me a little bit though... He said, "we had more fun (at a certain event) then you should have at church event."

That's the problem, isn't it? Too many people feel that church SHOULD be stuffy, lifeless, and achingly boring.

That is community? I know that when I experience community, I laugh hard enough to make my sides hurt, I cry with my friends that are hurting, I get my hands dirty with their dirt as we pray for each other. But mostly, I laugh. A lot.

To steal from Campolo and Yacconelli, the kingdom of God is a party.

2007-04-25T08:30:00.000-06:00

"cause id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks

oooh you never know where one might be
and oooh theres lots of places that are hard to reach

id like to see you out in the moonlight
id like to kiss you way back in the sticks
id like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
and id like to check you for ticks

oh id sure like to check you for ticks"

*** I copied and pasted these lyrics... I take no responsibility for the lack of apostrophes in this post.

SoeBeck and Holly go see the Cardinals

2007-04-21T10:20:00.000-06:00

Early one Tuesday morning, SoeBeck and Holly drove to St. Louis to see their favorite team, the Cardinals. They were battling against the evil Pirates, and they were both very excited. That is until SoeBeck was pulled over by a police officer and handed a ticket. This made soebs sad.

SoeBeck was determined not to let this setback get him down, and they continued on their journey, this time at a more appropriate pace.

SoeBeck and Holly got to the St. Louis,
and SoeBeck wept tears of Joy at the sight of the beautiful new stadium.

(Picture has been deleted due to the fact that soebs doesn't cry)

Look how excited the happy couple is:

Then SoeBeck and Holly posed in front of the stadium with some Cardinals greats:

(Hottest Picture Ever)

The weather was as beautiful as the Stadium:

Unfortunately, the Cardinals lost the battle to the Pirates that day...

but at least our heroes had each other.

I have a new hero.

2007-04-14T08:45:00.000-06:00

Jason Whitlock is a former football player, turned journalist, and is also a black man. He wrote this article on Imus and the rutgers situation, and has also been all over the radio about it. Bravo Jason, bravo!

A little confession

2007-04-11T12:37:00.000-06:00

I don't think I have been to the dentist since I was 12.

29 - 12 = 17 years.

I went today. It was a new patient visit, and so there was no cleaning yet. Dentist went over medical history with me, looked at my mouth, took x-rays.

I told him I hadn't been to the dentist since I was in high school (o.k., a tiny fib, but I said, "like high school" since I don't know the last time I was at a dentist, so I really didn't lie to him that bad), he told me that I had no cavities and that my Sonicare must be doing the trick because I do not have the build up of someone who hasn't been to the dentist in 10 years.

How about 17?

My teeth cleaning will be coming soon.

School board vote

2007-04-10T21:33:00.000-06:00

I just saw on the news that the Warrick County is going to middle schools, which means that my ministry will start having 6-8 grades instead of just 7 and 8. It won't start til the school year after this fall I believe. Should be a good thing for my ministry.

Things are going well around here, sorry I haven't posted for a week, I haven't had much to say.

The 'Birds started off slow, but they are coming on strong now!

Now if Albert will just be Albert, I can start absolutely dominating my fantasy league! I would like to point out that I beat Brad Evans Yahoo fantasy expert in week 1 of our head to head baseball league! I beat him by half a point! What's up now Brad?

Hospital Rounds

2007-03-30T13:37:00.000-06:00

I have spent much of today making hospital calls. 6 people divided by 3 hospitals all over town. Lots of fun.

I actually don't mind doing hospitals, 6 is a little much though.

I got a call for the 6th person on the road however. There was a Jr. High girl just admitted to the hospital. I went in there not knowing what was wrong with her, and when I went to her room, she was laying there reading a magazine.

"Hi, I'm SoeBeck, what's going on?"

"I drank an entire bottle of Grey Goose, and passed out."

It was an 8th grade girl who I have never seen before. She told me she was an alcoholic, and was worried about her parents sending her back to rehab.

How has a 14 year old girl been in rehab before, and is now worried about having to go back?

I mean, people messed around with alcohol when I was in Jr. High, I know. To already be in rehab though? To call yourself an alcoholic? She wasn't at a party, she wasn't with friends. She drank a bottle of vodka by herself, on her own. She obviously needs the savior, but she has no interest. What do I do, invite her to youth group? I did. She didn't seem too interested. I mean and why not? Most of my kids are trying to find out whether or not they like girls or whether or not they have the right Ipod.

Goodness. I feel helpless. Kind of all my training goes out the window with something like this.

"Father, help your child. Help her find you."

2007-03-28T21:49:00.001-06:00

People really don't like this guy.

2007-03-28T09:36:00.000-06:00

Alright, this guy isn't a very good singer. I think that perhaps I could give him a run for his money, and I am definitely NOT one of the best 10 singers in the country.

However, hunger strikes? I mean, how in the world do you care about a show enough to actually go on a hunger strike over the results? I can see a hunger strike for awareness about the aids epidemic in Africa, or something worthy like, Oral Roberts raising 8 million dollars for something or other.

I guess, I can understand Simon saying he would quit American Idol over it. I mean, if you are the creator of a show, and it loses all credibility 2 years in a row by bad singers consistently doing well (that kid with the glasses last season?), maybe you've been exposed as being the laughing stock of the nation. Or perhaps you will realize that you are nothing more than a Karaoke competition and realize you don't have a lot of credibility in the first place.

Or maybe, I am an idiot.

I am excited about Bono perhaps showing up. Please let there be a U2 night, please.

Lazy Sunday

2007-03-26T08:42:00.000-06:00

No, I don't have some rap about red vines being crazy delicious! I am listening to Waterdeep right now, and life is all good!

The last few days have been incredible! The weather has been ridiculous! It was 80 here yesterday. Holly and I went to take a walk around midnight last night, and the temperature outside was perfect! This weekend was the start of spring break for our students and all evening church activities were cancelled, so yesterday was simply a lazy Sunday (I don't get those very often), and it was everything I thought it could be! :)

The tourney has been kinda lame. No real upsets, kinda boring. If Florida wins though, I will finish 2nd in my tourney pool. That's like cash money, yo!

You may be seated.

2007-03-24T17:38:00.000-06:00

Today was the day I married off my roomate and the church nursery coordinator. I have to say that for my first wedding, it went pretty well. There was tense moment when Darin was escorting the Brides dad down the aisle pushing his wheelchair as the bride stood next to her dad. The dad stopped him and got out of the wheelchair to walk the bride up the aisle, but Darin kept pushing him back down into the chair. Darin is a bit of a baby sometimes. Alright, that was an episode of the office, but man, you can imagine if Darin did that, right? Anybody?

I screwed up just one real noticable time. After the giving of the bride away and my prayer, I was supposed to tell the guests to be seated. Ya, kinda forgot about that.

They all sat down as one big unit about halfway through my sermon. To which I remarked, "Yup, there it is. Right here in my notes!"

It was fun. The end.

The mighty CPAP!

2007-03-21T12:08:00.000-06:00

So, just imagine me laying there instead of that old guy. I just got done with my first night on the CPAP. I didn't sleep very well. Normally it takes me about 2 or 3 deep breaths to fall asleep. It took me at least 30-40 minutes to fall asleep with the facemask on.

Also, the lady that was setting my CPAP up was showing me the maximum pressure the mahine would attain during the night. The machine is automatic though, and it only distributes that pressure in those moments where you absolutely need it. The machine constantly monitors pressures and oxygen levels, so the machine is constantly blowing harder and softer throughout the night.

Except for mine. She accidentally set it for full pressure, all the time. Needless to say, I am very tired today. She apologized and ran over a new program card to set it right. I need a nap.

I am officiating my first wedding this weekend. I am marrying my roomate and the church's nursery coordinator. Which is cool, but I am losing a roomate. Anyone want to pay me rent and come live in my house?

Alright, peace out.

Results after Day 1

2007-03-16T08:38:00.000-06:00

13-3 losing 1 sweet 16 team.

Go Illini!

A little help from my friends...

2007-03-15T09:14:00.000-06:00

Brant chastized, er, encouraged me yesterday to blog, even if it's ridiculous. Well, be careful what you ask for:

My girlfriend has been in Colorado since Saturday. She is not getting home til sometime Saturday evening. I want to scratch someone's eyes out.

Although I miss my boo, I am kinda excited about the tourney starting today! Stupid CBS here isn't showing the Illinois game here... something about the Purdue game being a team from Indiana, and Illinois being a mere 12 seed or something.

Speaking of a 12 seed, there is always at least one 12 seed to beat a 5. Is this the year? Since the days of Lou-dou, I believe no Illinois team has beaten a higher seed tournament seed in the tourney. This would be a great year to start. Well, maybe. Problem is the nightmare of teams we would have to play if we won. We win the first round, and we then have to go get spanked by our red-headed step child, in state rival, SIU? That would set recruiting even farther back than it is! And if somehow we were to get past SIU? Kansas, and former Illini traitor, Bill Self. No way I want to get spanked by them! He's such a jerk, he recently said that we didn't belong in the tourney. Comon' Bill, do you have to kick us when we are down?

I have to get a CPAP machine. Ask me how excited I am about that? I think my heart stops like 43 times a night or something like that. :)

24 has been a major disappointment this year. 'Nuff said.

Studio 60 got pulled. That makes me sad, I don't agree with Sorkin's political views, but the man can write a compelling show. Sports Night was one of the best shows that no one ever watched.

Every one should watch this guy: He pretty much stole my entire shtick.

Oh man, while I am pointing out awesome you tube stuff: This made me remember why I love college basketball.

Everyone should go to this here site and listen to my baby lead worship. Click on "The Edge" Icon. She alternates weeks in which she leads, so you will have to click on different ones to find her. One of my favorites is Part 4 of Better Together. They are all great though!

My sister graduates from Nursing School in May. She'll be 27 years old! Way to be SoeYun, way to be! Gotta keep up the Song family tradition of not finishing school til the late 20's!

I am doing my first wedding next week. I better figure out what to do before then...

out

Best Girlfriend ever!

2007-02-14T12:38:00.000-06:00

That's my baby! Had this delivered to my place of employment!!

2007-02-09T09:48:00.000-06:00

O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath!
For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.

There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

My wounds stink and fester
because of my foolishness,
I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all the day I go about mourning.
For my sides are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off.

Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
and meditate treachery all day long.

But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,
like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
I have become like a man who does not hear,
and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me,
who boast against me when my foot slips!”

For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever before me.
I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin.
But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
Those who render me evil for good
accuse me because I follow after good.

Do not forsake me, O Lord!
O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!

Paging Adolf...

2007-02-02T10:17:00.000-06:00

The NFL is ridiculous!

Memo to Bruce Weber.

2007-01-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

Please stop killing our basketball program.

We are bad. We are playing ugly basketball. None of the players are buying in. We can't seem to land a recruit that shows signs of being a future stud.

Bruce, I love you as a coach. You have got to show me something else though! Show me you can recruit your way out of a paper bag. Show me that you can get players to buy into your system!

Anyway...

Sunday school yesterday was a pretty great day for my ministry. I think we may have turned a big corner.

I totally plagiarized a Mark Driscoll sermon, but it's ok because I told the students that I stole it, and really he totally plagiarized from God anyway. Anyway, I ended the sermon with a decision time, and 19 people came forward! No music, no emotional plea, just if you need to make a change in your life come forward. 9 people said they wanted to ask Jesus to be the savior of their lives, and 10 wanted prayer because of the fact that they wanted to change the way that they are.

I love days in ministry like that! Kind of makes you think that it is worth it.

I love this guy!

2006-12-29T00:34:00.000-06:00

So, I am sick, I am on vacation, and it is Dog Whisperer week on National Geographic Channel. Let me explain why I love this guy, Cesar Millan, for the 2 of you out there that do not love him already. He goes in and basically tells dog owners the reason why their dogs act retarded is because the owners are treating them like they are retarded (not the dogs, but the owners). This interaction is classic:

Cesar: So, you have 3 dogs, and you favor one dog over the other 2?

Couple: Well, yes, we have had her the longest and we joke that she is our kid and the other 2 dogs are her pets. Is that a problem?

Cesar: So, one is human and the other 2 are dogs?

Couple: Is this creating a problem (laughing)?

Cesar: Yes. It is absolutely a problem.

Couple: (No longer laughing, kind of offended) Well, don't you have a favorite?

Cesar: No. I have over 30 dogs at my compound, and I love them all equally. If I rescue a dog, or if a celebrity gives me a dog, I love them all the same. They are all number two to me.

Couple: Oh? Well, who's number one?

Cesar: I am.

I love this guy! He totally goes off and these dog owners, but he does it with his mexican accent, and coupled with the fact that his tactics are unbelievably effective and make total sense, he totally gets away with it.

I was telling Holly that that I think this guy is a genius and his teachings are right on so many different levels. Excercise, Discipline, and Affection. You can apply his thoughts all over the place, parenting, spiritual growth, etc. Although, that may be the many different flu remedies I am taking at the moment speaking, however.

Christmas party fun!

2006-12-11T14:02:00.000-06:00

This clip is pretty funny.

2006-12-07T13:26:00.001-06:00

We have not learned much, have we?

Oh ya, and this movie looks like it may be sweet!

Reason #666 why I like my girlfriend...

2006-12-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

She leaves me inappropriate messages. On the hood of my truck, in a card, etc. It's for fun (Best Nacho Libre impression there).

Today is a cool day. My friends the Douglass's come back from China today with their new daughter, Ruthanne Jing Douglass. Here she is:

Man, those chumps in the midwest...

2006-12-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

It's snowing like crazy and freezing up there. I am glad I live here in Florida, er, crap. I hate this weather, I am seriously going to die. It is so flippin' cold and windy!

At least I get to wear my Navy P coat. Actually that is no consolation, I hate this weather!

The itch

2006-11-27T15:48:00.000-06:00

So, I took 2 Sundays off in a row. Almost 3 weeks of not talking about Jesus to my Jr. High Students. I was itching yesterday! I love the affirmation that I am in the right line of work! Now if I could only figure out how to teach well...

Holly met the fam, she did very well with that. Although she did fib to my mom when asked whether or not she liked the seaweed soup (I will be getting yelled at for making that public)!

SoeYun loved her! Let's go ahead and be honest about it, her opinion was really the only family member who's opinion I really worried about. She (my sister) has an uncanny ability to read a person right off the bat. Holly passed with flying colors!

Thanksgiving was awesome! Thanks for asking!

*Warning: This post is ridiculous.**

2006-11-22T11:18:00.000-06:00

I am in day 4 of a 5 day stint of not seeing Holly. This time is what I like to refer to as, "The Suck." I hate "The Suck", as it tends to leave me grumpy and feeling sorry for myself.

In other news, the family is doing well. I really miss SoeYun. I wish that she lived in Evansville. I miss seeing her whenever I wish to. I even kind of miss Beth! :)

If you remember, pray for my friends the Douglass's. They are on a plane right now leaving from Detroit, and headed to Tokyo. From there they are going to board a plane to China, to pick up their newly adopted little girl. They will be in China for a couple weeks, and I will be there to meet them back in Evansville when they step off the plane on December 6th. They are dear friends, and I am excited to hear of their adventures when they return.

Turkey Day tommorrow! Mmmmm, turkey. Go Bucs!

And the walls came tumbling down...

2006-11-09T19:49:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here blogging from the old alma matter! I need to tell you what I saw today. I was outside when I saw the whole procession of Holers in full holer regalia. The pope was out, the ark of the covenant was carried by ashen poles, and that crazy oblong thing was there.

Anyway, it was odd because they were all marching by the new building. In fact they were marching around the new building. Perplexed I asked a holer what it was they were doing? This was a new event that I had not seen before. The holer ignored me. I was confused, and so I asked another holer what was going on. That holer also ignored me.

It was then that I realized what they were doing. They all suddenly stopped and blew trumpets and started screaming. They had marched around the building once for 6 days, and today they marched around 7 times and then blew horns and screamed! One of the funniest things I have seen in a long time!

Yesterday was my ordination. It was the coolest ordination I have ever been to, I know it was mine and all, but it was really fun!

LCC has changed a lot since I have been here, but one thing remains the same:

When the hole is called up yonder,
When the hole is called up yonder,
When the hole is called up yonder,
When the hole is called up yonder,
I'll be there.

Further proof that Hell is indeed freezing:

2006-11-06T11:17:00.000-06:00

Or maybe, signs that the end of the world really is near:

I have a girlfriend.

The end.

Man, this is fun!

2006-11-02T09:43:00.000-06:00

2006-11-02T09:28:00.000-06:00

Hilarious.

2006-11-01T14:42:00.000-06:00

That Brant Hansen is funny.

It's been 3 days. I am still flyin' high!

2006-10-30T13:04:00.000-06:00

I mean, it wasn't a dream, we WON the World Series!!

God bless us, every one.

I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

2006-10-26T22:46:00.000-06:00

I cannot believe this day is here! I have never seen the Cardinals raise that world series trophy. We are so close, I can taste it!

On my ordination and bla, bla, bla.

2006-10-25T13:40:00.000-06:00

I am getting ordained November 8th at 6 pm. I am buying a new shirt for the occasion. If you would like to be there, all are invited. If not, then I wish you would burn in an eternal gehenna.

Alright, back to thinking about my bible study tonight, and the St. Louis Cardinals.

This match up has been perfect for us!

2006-10-25T13:16:00.000-06:00

I was telling Jonathon before the series started, that I thought we could beat Detroit because of the fact that they have so many fastball pitchers.

Joel Zumaya and his 103 MPH fastball? Albert can catch that.

People we have trouble with are people like Glavine and Rogers. People that throw, falling off the mound, with stuff that is just filthy. That gives us all kinds of trouble.

I never thought our pitching would be this good. I never thought we would be 2-1 either. We can win this bad boy at home, let's go fellas!

I know I'm a dork, but this seminar at Cornerstone was really interesting...

2006-10-20T10:37:00.000-06:00

WHY SHOULD THE DEVIL HAVE ALL THE GOOD BACCHANALS?
(This Is Not a Tame Seminar) by Mike Hertenstein

As I put the final touches on the 2006 Imaginarium schedule before handing it in to the Cornerstone Festival art department for layout in the official program, I found I was left with an extra seminar hour to fill. In fact, I'd been having trouble filling that hour for awhile. So at that last possible moment, I impulsively decided it would be simple to come up with an hour's worth of seminar myself. I scribbled down a title and a description that seemed reasonable and handed it in. Three months later I sat down to prepare the seminar and realized immediately that I would need multiple sessions for my topic. But I only had the one slot available. And I needed to cut that one short because of a near-simultaneous commitment elsewhere on the grounds. The upshot was that I had to speed through the seminar in order to finish on time, which has happened before. The seminar as presented was also considerably different than as advertised — which has also happened before. One thing always leads to another when it comes to the Imaginarium, and another, and... It's caused me no end of troubles. But it has also led me — and those of us following the trail — on some marvelous adventures…

MEMENTO MORI

This seminar was originally supposed to be on memory and mortality, the original title being "Memento Mori," which means "Remember you will die." It was inspired by our series of films and activities connected with our program on "the Days of the Dead." It was also inspired by our meditation on ruins, and the witness and wisdom of the saints — especially concerning the saints' repeated warning to us to number our days. Researching St. Francis, I was struck by the fact that so many of his portraits over time include a prominently-placed skull. In fact, on one of the few actual samples we have of Francis's writing, he signs his name and includes a little drawing of a skull. I'm told that St. Ignatius actually recommends employing a skull in his spiritual exercises. And St. Benedict's sobering charge is to "Keep death ever before you." In a short story by St. James (that is, James Joyce), "The Dead," the author describes a monastery where the monks sleep in their own coffins: a unavoidable daily memento mori. Other monasteries are famous as repositories of the bones of former residents, and entire churches have built of bones, with an effect very like the house of bones that is this year's Imaginarium décor. Usually such places feature a sign with the famous adage, "I was once like you. You will someday be like me."

Cheery stuff.

CARNIVAL & THE GROTESQUE

So then I decided to talk about carnival, which seemed an even better way for me to accomplish my goal for this seminar — which had to do with bringing together all of our Imaginarium 2006 program themes. I became interested in celebrations that affirmed life by transfiguring death, and also the chronic opposition to such affirmations. In certain cases, this opposition seemed to me to be at least partially motivated by a desire not to think about death — a deliberate resistance to memento mori, a persistent denial of death.

"Carnival" was a subtheme of our 1999 Imaginarium program, wherein we explored together the idea "the Grotesque." To put it in a rather inadequate nutshell, the Grotesque has to do with the suspension of everyday norms, and the senses of vertigo, danger and liberation that this suspension provokes. It calls into question our solid, familiar world and raises the disturbing possibility that what we call "normal" may, in fact, be a fabrication — and that the fullness of reality is beyond our ability to ever completely contain it.

"Does the gargoyle belong on the cathedral?" was the question we asked — and the answer we gave was "Yes: because if the gargoyle doesn't belong, then some of us are in big trouble!" After gargoyles, carnival is probably the most characteristic manifestation of the grotesque. In carnival, the ordinary is suspended, and the world turns upside-down: fools are king, and freaks are the norm. The participants in carnival wallow joyfully in chaos, contradiction and paradox. They embrace, in the words of one commentator, "the irreducible doubleness of life," the half-man, half-animal juxtaposition that is the human condition. Carnival is impolite and earthy: at the far end of the spectrum carnival can be crude and sexual in its celebration of the body, mocking and ironic in its acknowledgement of death. Carnival tends to be democratizing, with class distinctions obliterated and conventional hierarchies dissolved. Carnival is a tantalizing, liberating glimpse of wholeness, of oneness, of the mystery and ambiguity that our everyday order can never contain, of all the loose ends of life that we ordinarily deny and try to sweep under the rug.

Cornerstone Festival, obviously, in some sense, is carnival. Certainly at Cornerstone, our everyday reality is at least in part put on hold, status distinctions mean nothing, we live close together, close to nature. Most of the usual polite social fictions become temporarily useless. At Cornerstone we are faced with the fact that cleanliness is actually relative — and that what may be classified as "dirt" in anyone's particular symbol system is more likely anything that doesn't belong in their neat, familiar world. Cornerstone is other, and learning to make room in your personal symbol system for people who are other than you. And of course, it goes without saying that rock-n-roll is nothing if not carnival: the sex and violence may be sublimated a bit at Cornerstone, but the music still isn't precisely housebroken — hopefully. The good stuff remains somewhat outside the mainstream, a bit daring and even dangerous, just like we were always warned. Cornerstone haircuts and costumes are our versions of the carnival mask, a merry negation of the Official Story, the one imposed upon us by the everyday world: to defy that story is to make room for, maybe even get a glimpse of, a bigger story beyond — the one that we knew was always there anyway.

The Imaginarium program at Cornerstone Festival is most definitely carnival — even when the Grotesque isn't the official theme. Long before we became a house of bones, we were a house of rubber chickens. In fact, in the 1999 program, we (humbly) offered our revolutionary Theology of the Rubber Chicken, proof in its very silliness of the absurd incongruity of our juxtaposed human condition: our poor featherless friend reminds us of the embarrassing, vulnerable, ridiculousness of our own situation, being half-animal, half-god. The Whoopie Cushion — and the Porta-Potty — explode (excuse me) the great cultural lie and set our learning experiences at Cornerstone and the Imaginarium powerfully in unvarnished and unabashed human reality.

Some may wonder, then — and most reasonably so — just what the heck Francis of Assisi is doing in such a vulgar place, namely on the program of the Imaginarium. Well, for one thing, it is true that the feast days of the saints were always occasion for carnival. But the connection goes much deeper then that. Saint Francis called himself "the Jester of God" — the Holy Fool. There was a mad, topsy-turvyness to Francis. His insistance that Perfect Joy might be found in the midst of trial and suffering. His unreasonable love for all creatures of our God and King. His rags. His lepers. (And if it helps, think of Cornerstone as one big leper for Francis to embrace!) His merry troubadours singing the praises of Lady Poverty. The antics of Franciscan preachers whose foolishness was often calculated to draw a crowd. No wonder Francis's vision has been described as a "carnivalized" Christianity.

Yet surely that description is redundant. Surely Christianity itself is carnival — or perhaps some of us have just forgotten. For you can't get much more paradoxical and earthy and upsetting than the Gospel. Consider the upsidedowness of the picture of the Creator of the Universe being born in a stable, the grotesque juxtaposition of a God-Man who dies to give life, who gives to receive. Stand on your head and watch the first become last, the meek inherit the earth, the rich sent away empty, while the wise man is confounded. Shake your comfortably proper head as the secrets of the Kingdom are given to children and fools. Consider this: the root word of carnival, carne means "flesh." And the center of Christianity involves the eternal Word becoming flesh — the very fleshiness, and bodiliness of the Christian assertion that has always been a scandal to the world.

And sometimes even to the church. Did I say "sometimes?" I meant often. Actually, constantly.

From the moment Jesus ascended into Heaven until this very morning, the church has been haunted by the heresy of Gnosticism, a hatred of the body and preference for abstract ideals that seems so spiritual, so reasonable — and also happens to a complete betrayal of the most fundamental precept of our faith: the bodily, fleshly, sensual, cultural, Incarnation of God Himself.

THE WAR BETWEEN CARNIVAL AND LENT

But the juxtaposition, the roller-coaster ride of the Christian vision, doesn't stop there. Just when you think you're getting a fix on things, double-vision sets in again. For in yet another mad Christian juxtaposition, Carnival ends — with Lent. That is to say, the excesses and indulgences of Medieval Carnival were always followed on the liturgical calendar by a forty-day period of fasting, prayer and penance that preceded Easter. Now, it is true that maybe everyone needed those forty days to repent for all the sins committed during carnival! But I suspect there's a deeper principle at work here, that both "Carnival" and "Lent" stand for larger opposing principles. Medieval painter Peter Bruegel's work "The Battle Between Carnival and Lent" suggests an ongoing, never-resolved struggle in human nature, and possibly the Christian faith itself. For even though Francis of Assisi embraced Creation with open arms, like so many of the saints he also relentlessly, even shockingly, turned his back on his flesh. The most whiplash-inducing of Christian paradoxes may be that it is a faith which includes both Carnival and Lent, feasting and fasting, Easter and Good Friday, Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday. The tug-of-war between Carnival and Lent is certainly an endless quarrel of church history. There are outrageous excesses at both extremes, with notable and notorious victories and defeats by either side — a continual pulling one way in the direction of carne and in the other toward an austere denial of the flesh.

The Puritans, for example, banned Christmas and Easter outright — like so many black-hatted Grinches. Endless waves of Reformers and Prohibitionists started by abolishing the feast days of the saints and moved on to smashing stained glass, ripping down paintings, covering over frescoes, breaking statues, burning musical instruments, and banning the theater, along with novels, card-playing, folk-dances, folk-tales, folk-songs, comic books, movies, and rock-n-roll. And if you think you detected a pattern in there it may be because there is one. The first Puritan, it has been said, was Plato, who banned poets from his ordered Republic for fear they might stir up the lower classes. Of course, reforming impulses in all ages have unquestionably found plenty of worthy targets. But such impulses almost always manage to become tangled with motivations very questionable: among these one can find class interest, a bourgeois desire to maintain order, a fear of change, a fear of difference, a hatred of anything out of place in some personal symbol-system — of "dirt", which anthropologist Mary Douglas notes tends to remind people of their most profound fear, of the precariousness of their place in the universe: of death. Memento Mori becomes a bit more strained when all the efforts of "polite society" are aimed at avoiding just that.

Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that people of all classes are easily stirred up, and prone to all sorts of wicked excess. But since this includes an excess of legalism, along with an excess of judgment and excessive desire to control their environment, then it seems to me that arriving at some objective balance between Carnival and Lent becomes a very tricky problem indeed.

So tricky, in fact, that when the seminar threatened to bog down at this point, the narrator was suddenly inspired to skip ahead and talk about what he really wanted to talk about all along…DIONYSUS

Our subject today is Dionysus, the Greek god of wine.

Bacchus to the Romans, Dionysus has his own typically complex and even convoluted history. For our purposes, we'll simply note in passing that he was well known for being persecuted by those who refused to recognize his deity. And those who refused to recognize his divinity paid a terrible price for it. The most famous telling of that part of the story is Euripides' play, The Bacchae. In that version, King Pentheus of Thebes becomes outraged by the Dionysian rites taking place in his vicinity and determines to outlaw them — which is, as we know, pretty much the plot of another classic work, the 1984 movie Footloose. In that film, an conservative and uptight minister banishes dancing and rock-n-roll from his small town. A hip newcomer from the city arrives and convinces the local kids to hold their own dance outside the town, and everything ends happily: even the uptight minister loosens up a bit and essentially gives his blessing. Fade to black, to a catchy, eminently danceable, tune.

Of course, if the filmmakers had stuck closer to the plot of The Bacchae, things would have gone a little differently. During the climactic dance set-piece, the minister (played by John Lithgow) would have snuck up and observed the dance. (Note: in the play, King Pentheus disguises himself as one of Bacchus's female followers but the picture of John Lithgow in a wig and dress isn't working for me so we'll lose that part.) The minister thus creeps through the woods to discover the local high school kids caught up and whirling in an intoxicated, violent, frenzied mosh-pit — many half-clothed and all lost in an orgiastic ecstasy. At this point, the true identity of the hip newcomer (played by Kevin Bacon) would be revealed: he is the god Dionysus himself. Soon afterward, the dancers notice the uptight minister spying on them. Without skipping a beat, they turn their frenzied dance in his direction, catching him up in the mosh-pit and ripping him limb from bloody limb. Suddenly, they all snap out of their trance. The minister's daughter (again, an editorial change; in the original, it's his mother) is now horrified to discover she is carrying in her hands her father's bleeding, disembodied head. She screams. We fade to black, to a catchy, eminently danceable tune. The moral of the story (to some) might be that the uptight minister had been absolutely correct in his concerns, and so ends up becoming a martyr to the cause of virtue. To the Greeks, the moral remains what it has always been: Don't insult the god by refusing him his due: those who refuse to acknowledge Dionysus will pay a terrible price for their impiety.

Dionysian worship took place in the mountains and woods as described by Euripides. The god's female followers were called maenads — "mad women" — who whipped themselves into frenzy of lunatic dancing which climaxed with a figurative or perhaps even literal ripping apart of the god in form of animals. We recall the frenzied ritual sacrifice of the ox at the climax of Apocalypse Now (crosscut with the execution of Colonel Kurtz, the American officer who disappeared into the jungle and 'went native'.) The sacrifice of choice for Dionysian worship was a goat. In fact, Dionysus was generally conceived of as a goat, or half-goat, and his followers included satyrs — those half-man, half-goat creatures of pagan mythology. Certainly we can see that popular perception of Satan and Satan worship over the ages owes much to the myth and religion of Dionysus.

Indeed, Dionysus was associated with the Dark Side: the surging, uncontrollable forces that lurk below the surface of society and individuals. He was obviously associated with Nature: with all those wild tendencies of which restraining or taming has been the fundamental order of business for establishing a modicum of civilization. Understandably, Dionysus has been denounced over the years by various kinds of prohibitionists, reformers and civic leaders. Even amid High Paganism, the Roman Senate tried to ban all but a very restricted brand of Dionysian worship — though they found it very hard to stamp out. Thus, on the other hand, we see Dionysus has been stubbornly championed by other pagans, along with all manner of wine-bibbers, drunks and Romantics.

Most notoriously, Dionysus is remembered as perhaps the singlemost key figure in the warped private mythology of German philosopher and self-declared "anti-Christ," Fredrich Nietzsche.

DIONYSUS vs APOLLO

Nietzche set up a famous and influential opposition. On one side, representing the dark, uncontrollable, earthy forces — Dionysus. On the opposite side, another classical deity, Apollo: god of light, rationality, control and order. Greek tragedy, posited Nietzsche, found a perfect balance between these two opposing tendencies. Indeed, "tragedy" means "goat-song" and arose from Dionysian worship — the maenads became the Chorus. According to Nietzsche, the balance of Dionysian formlessness within Apollonian form was the secret of that profoundly innovative civilization we know of as "the Golden Age of Greece." But something happened to cause that civilization to decline and die. Nietzsche insisted that the Golden Age was destroyed when the Greeks lost their balance — when Apollo got the better of Dionysus. Cold rationality killed the wild, intuitive forces that were the secret source of Classical genius.

Now, Nietzsche's arcane complex of ideas about Dionysus are part of an ever-more-twisted personal program, which became, ultimately, for him, a war between his Dionysian philosophy and Christianity — between, as phrased it during his final breakdown, "Dionysus" and "the Crucified".

Let's try to set Nietzsche aside for a moment if we can (as if his radioactive questions can ever really be safely stored somewhere). The fact is that many another thinker besides the Teutonic anti-Christ have found conceptualizing in his opposing terms to be quite fruitful — and clearly these symbols are most apt for considering human tendencies undeniably in conflict: rationality, clarity and order are ever clashing in various guises with non-rationality, ambiguity, and disorder. Call it what you like. In his book, The Pilgrim's Regress, C. S. Lewis bisects his allegorical landscape into a chilly, rational "North" and a warm, emotional "South." This opposition, under one label or another, has been described as the central tension of Western philosophy. So many, many debates not only philosophy, but also in theology and art seem to be at some level battles in this one never-ending war. Typically, partisans dig in, baptizing their position, then demonize and assail the opposite front line. The conflict makes for boilerplate drama, be it Footloose or The Dead Poet's Society among other populist versions. How it all plays out depends on who is telling the story: that is to say, people tend to spin the Apollo-Dionysus opposition according to their own prejudices and taste. "Freedom" vs "Oppression." "Order" vs "Anarchy." "Nature" vs "Culture." "The Noble Savage" vs "the Lord of the Flies." "The Indestructible Life Force" versus "the God of Mob Violence".

Let's face it. Even Footloose stacks the deck. The makers of that film play footloose indeed with their treatment of our opposition, sketching the good and bad guys of their story as broad as cartoons, according to their own agenda. If anyone of contrary inclinations wanted to, they could easily make a film about a high school dance where everything happened just exactly as the minister feared — drunken brawls, rapes, violence, accidents, whatever — not in some light-hearted-and-hilarious teen-hijinks movie but in a story of catastrophic choices and consequences. It happens.

The point is that everybody seems to have their own take on what a conflict between Apollo and Dionysus really means or implies, and rigs the fight accordingly. They draw upon whatever elements and sources make their point and exclude according to their prejudice or inclination. I certainly won't assert my take is the objective one, and can only hope any detractors will aspire to a similar humility. I also understand that along with reason, experience comes into play here. Those pulled from Dionysian self-destruction may cling to Apollo for dear life. Those raised under strict Apollonian rule may do precisely the opposite. As the father of a teenage daughter, I can well imagine myself going all Apollo on some Dionysian situation reaching out its claws to her. Yet as someone still shaking off the effects of a rather Apollonian religious culture, I'm so grateful to think she'll be carrying less of that baggage and will hopefully be less tempted to compensate by way of an opposite extreme.

The notion of "extreme" suggests that perhaps what we're looking for here is some kind of balance. Back in the Seventies, that bighair band from the Great White North — RUSH — made a concept album devoted to resolving the conflict between Apollo and Dionysus. On Hemispheres, the story is told of a romantic, disillusioned by the endless war of the gods, who steers his starship into a Black Hole. There he encounter Cygnus — "the god of balance." Thus ends the ancient conflict between Apollo and Dionysus with Cynus is added to make classical trinity, bringing peace at last to the universe. (Fade to black, to a catchy, and classically-influenced but lyrically-inscrutable, helium-induced scream.)

Deus ex machina: "the god in the machine." When Euripides wanted to bring his play to a sensational close, he had an actor playing Dionysus lowered to the stage on a crane. The phrase has come since to be associated with those embarrassing and mighty convenient last-minute rescues of a plot in jeopardy — a sort of "bad faith" on the part of the dramatist. It's highly appropriate that The Bacchae ends with a literal deus ex machina, because nearly every later variation of the story seems to end with a figurative one: some sudden miracle of "balance." The vision is compelling, and inspirational, but its not much practical use. For where we locate the "balance" always depends on where we plot the extremes — and people will always disagree about these. Was King Pentheus an uptight Fundamentalist wanting to outlaw fun? Or was he Eliot Ness, come to clean up the town? Is Dionysus another Mary Poppins, magically opening a world of wonder? Or is he the Pied Piper of Hamlin, leading all the innocent children astray?

Stay tuned for another overtime round in the eternal knock-down-drag-out Prize-fight of the Gods — where Christ, says Nietzsche (the anti-Christ), fights on the side of Apollo, and against Dionysus.

But doesn't it seem worth asking whether or not he got that part right? CHRIST & DIONYSUS

Is Christianity more of an Apollonian, or a Dionysian, religion?

Despite the difficulty in nailing down objectively what the symbols "Dionysus" and "Apollo" stand for, it seems reasonable to assume that many Christians throughout history have instinctively agreed with Nietzsche that the conflict is between Dionysus and "the Crucified". That view would seemingly leave Christ on the side of Apollo, if only by default. Of course, when it comes to stacking the deck, you won't find an easier game in which to do just that. After all, Dionysus is the goat — the one with the horns and hooves. Apollo, it is well known, is the god of light. Perhaps somewhat less well known is the warning in Scripture that Satan himself may come disguised as an angel of light. Still, these would seem Christian virtues: Order, Clarity, Restraint, Enlightenment — especially when contrasted with Disorder, Ambiguity, Sensuality, and Darkness. Apollo is the god of Truth with a capital "T", unchanging universals, heavenly ideals. Dionysus is the god of subjectivity, particularity, the flesh, and the earth. Apollo is control and domination. Dionysus is surrender and self-abandonment. Apollo stands for immortality. Dionysus is the god who dies and is resurrected, whose blood his followers drink, and thus become one with him. I begin to tip my hand. Perhaps you think I'm stacking the deck, but it does seem to me a very interesting pattern shows through here...

Indeed, Dionysus clearly finds himself reflected in the Christian revelation in ways that Apollo cannot. In pagan days, Dionysian worship was one of the Mystery Religions. These often had such striking similarities to later Christian belief and practice that, depending on your perspective, they're inevitably seen as a) the real sources of Christianity; b) diabolical imitations; or c) precursors to the true faith (and I guess "d" would be "really, incredibly amazing coincidences"). Pagan myths, according to G. K. Chesterton and C. S. Lewis, were dreams sent by God to prepare humankind for the reality. Lewis puts it this way: "unfocussed gleams of divine truth falling upon the imagination." In this view, the story of Dionysus is just one of many similar tales of "dying and resurrected gods" found scattered throughout primitive religion and so, some say, pagan intimations of Christ. Dionysus was a goat, to be sure, but a literal scapegoat, with all the usual Christological inflections of that notion. He was torn apart and eaten by his followers — and drank. He wasn't only the god of wine, he was wine and drinking him was the sacrament: his worship consisted in taking the god into yourself bodily and being possessed by the god. The goal of Dionysian worship was breaking down barriers to create unity — between god and man, humanity and nature, and among human beings: "oneness," by any other name, utter self-abandonment, the transcendence of the self to share in a blessed unity.

It should come as no surprise to most people by this point to learn that Dionysus was among the pagan symbols expropriated as a type of Christ by Renaissance and other Christian writers throughout the ages — including Erasmus, Rabelais and that thinker whose skirts I am so wont to hide behind (I'm thinking of those quintessential English academic gowns here), C. S. Lewis.

DIONYSUS & NARNIA

Which brings us — unexpectedly, and that may indeed be the best way to get here — to Narnia. Narnia, oh Narnia: you blessed land of somewhat troubling geopolitics! You who are forever being taken over by wicked outsiders and yearning for the Western Europeans to come to your aid! (Be that as it may.) In the first book of C. S. Lewis's series, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, the land of Narnia is frozen into a perpetual Winter with no Christmas. In the next book, Prince Caspian, the foreign invaders are the Telmarines, who have driven out the Old Narnians and assumed power. It's interesting to consider what exactly Lewis was trying to get out of his system here. Both of these invaders supress the life of Narnia — the Talking Animals, the spirits in the rivers and trees. They drive the fauns and satyrs (both half-man, half-beasts) into hiding. The Telmarines, in fact, are insistant in their denial that such creatures ever even existed, that it was all just an ugly rumor.

The nightmare Lewis was apparently frequently troubled by also seemed to have troubled the peace of his friend and colleague, J. R. R. Tolkien. Tolkien's vision of the Great Tribulation of Middle Earth has the dark forces of Mordor making war against Nature in all its flowering beauty, to be cut down and brought under control by something that looks very like the scientific or Enlightenment mindset. The Victorian Romantics were particularly conscious of dark Mordor-like forces sweeping over their world. That Victorian Bacchante, Algernon Charles Swinburne, lamented a "world grown grey," when all the old gods had been washed out to sea. Swinburne blamed it on the "pale Galilean," which seems to agree with Nietzsche in placing Christ on the side of Apollo against Dionysus. But given certain other obvious suspects in a world then ruled by English imperialism, industrialism and positivism, that vision of Romantic melancholy seems more than a wee bit myopic.

Lewis, for his part, all across his writings and in many different ways, clearly places the blame for that greying of the world, the Narnian Winter, on the cult of Scientism: whose virtues are objectivity, universality, predictability, clarity, order, control, and absolute domination. Hmmm…

It's interesting, at this juncture, to consider that, at the absolute high water mark of Modernity, when it came time to name the most singular manifestation of the triumph of the Enlightenment, the name chosen was — "Project Apollo." Now, I love Project Apollo. I was there. Few things in my lifetime have given me more joy, hope, thrill, and wonder. But there's also no question that, along with all those wonderful things, the phrase conjures for me images of buttoned-down NASA nerds, slide rules, and clean rooms. Believe me, there would be no Talking Animals allowed in Mission Control.

Meanwhile, before moving on, the question begs to be asked: what might some "Project Dionysus" look like? Oh, yeah: it would look pretty much the rest of the 1960s. As with the larger unresolved conflict between the gods, the debate over that decade's Dionysian rebellion against a predominately Apollonian culture remains with us. In this connection, it's fascinating to lay side by side a pair of films that each make of that debate their ideological subtext: The Dead Poets' Society restages the culture wars of the Sixties from a distinctively partisan perspective, favoring Dionysus or the Romantic point of view. A few years later, the film The Emperor's Club offered an almost scene-for-scene rebuttal of Dead Poets, from an Apollonian or Classicist perspective. (Neither film was especially poetic but critics generally found The Emperor's Club so thuddingly prosaic as to make Dead Poets seem lyrically inspiring indeed.)

But where were we? Narnia. Right. Let's go back, shall we? In Book One, Lucy travels through the magical Wardrobe and meets Mr. Tumnus, a faun — half-man, half-animal. Over tea, Mr. Tumnus recalls wistfully what Narnia was like before the onset of the endless Winter. In the recent Walt Disney film version of the novel, the faun makes general passing reference to some vague music and dancing before the freeze. But perceptive fans of the Narnia stories will notice a curious omission here. For in C. S. Lewis's novel, Mr. Tumnus makes particular reference to a particular embodiment of the Good Old Days, before the White Witch covered Narnia with ice and snow…
… when the woods were green and old Silenus on his fat donkey would come to visit them, and sometimes Bacchus himself, and then the streams would run with wine instead of water and the whole forest would give itself up to jollification for weeks on end. (The Lion the Witch & the Wardrobe)
For most readers, that reference will pass overhead as so much pixie dust. The context may evoke a certain vague nostalgia for some, but chances are they'll just keep reading. Those who do understand the reference, though — who know that Bacchus is Dionysus, and that Silenus is his drunken satyr sidekick — maybe be forgiven for spitting up their hot chocolate. What a jarring note for an innocent fairy tale — a children's book for goodness sakes! — especially one written by a respected Oxford professor and Christian apologist. A trained Classicist reading this innocent fairy tale to her children may at this point wonder what sort of pervert this Professor Lewis is.

Yet the story continues on from Mr. Tumnus's cottage to the happy ending. The White Witch is defeated. Christmas returns to Narnia. The endless Winter comes to an end, the frozen fauns and satyrs thaw and run free once again. But we're still not treated to quite the picture of the Golden Age that the wistful faun had painted — that will have to wait for the next book in the series.

In Prince Caspian, a young boy, whose parents are dead, is sent to live with relatives, who he doesn't like. They are very practical, no-nonsense types who debunk all the old myths of lost glory and keep from him the secret of his true identity. Then a mysterious Mentor Figure spirits him away and reveals to the lad a world bigger and more full of marvels than he'd ever known, and most astonishing of all, his own special destiny to face and defeat evil and restore that lost glory.

No, wait. That's the plot of the Harry Potter series. Er, no. That's Star Wars. Or Dune…

In any case, the hero of a thousand faces is, in Prince Caspian, the title character. He is the true prince of Narnia, who escapes his wicked aunt and uncle to discover the surviving Old Narnians in the woods and lead them in a war aimed at reconquering their country. Armies assemble. The Western Europeans arrive on time for battle — Peter, Edmund, Susan and Lucy. But Lewis's much-criticized sexism is in play here, for while the boys get to go into battle against the Telmarines, the girls are left behind in the forest with Aslan.

And the strangest interlude ensues.

Even though we're on the eve of the battle for Narnia, the real climactic moment, the one to which the whole book has been leading, now takes place: the great lion roars, with a supernatural power that echoes across the land and awakens all of Old Narnia from its sad slumber. The effect in the immediate vicinity is quickly seen as whole forests of trees, moving like Tolkien's majestic "ents", which gather from all sides, and come together in a spirited tree-dance around Aslan. They are soon joined by diverse other creatures:
One was a youth, dressed only in a fawn-skin, with vine-leaves wreathed in his curly hair. His face would have been almost too pretty for a boy's, if it had not looked so extremely wild. You felt, as Edmund said when he saw him a few days later, "There's a chap who might do anything — absolutely anything." He seemed to have a great many names — Bromios, Bassareus, and the Ram, were three of them. There were a lot of girls with him, as wild as he. There was even, unexpectedly, someone on a donkey. And everybody was laughing: and everybody was shouting out, "Euan, euan, eu-oi-oi." (Prince Caspian)
Some future annotated Narnia series may include the note that "Euoi" is the famed "shriek of ecstasy" and invocation used in only one place in all of pagandom: among the cult of Dionysus, or Bacchus, or Euon, Bromoios, etc.

The Roman poet, Horace, rhapsodizes —
On a remote crag I saw Bacchus —
Believe me, you who come hereafter —
Teaching his songs to the listening Nymphs
and goat-footed Satyrs with their pointed ears.
Euoi! My mind trembles with fear still fresh...
Another Roman poet, Ovid:
Wherever Bacchus goes, the cries of women
Hail him, and young men's joyful shouts, and drum
And timbrels sound, and cymbals slash, and flutes
Pipe shrill.
Perhaps our annotated Narnia set will include photos of classical statuary or urns to show how Bacchus is depicted in pagan mythology just as described by Lewis — though some images may include details of Bacchanalian, er, excitement that may make the book off-limits for the kiddies.

Meanwhile, here's the part of the Bacchanal that I'd like to see illustrated — from Euripides:
You could have seen a single woman with bare hands
Tear a fat calf, still bellowing with fright,
In two, while others clawed the heifers to pieces...
Scraps smeared with blood hung from the fir-trees.
Whoever this god may be,
Sire, welcome him to Thebes!
(It's gets even bloodier in Ovid — very Stephen King.)

Now, I must confess. There is a part of me that would like to see Susan and Lucy tear apart animals and eat their flesh raw. But I'm not proud of that, so I'll channel the reaction of my imaginary classics professor and exclaim "Pardon my Ancient Greek, but what the HADES is Professor Lewis up to here?" He's brought dear, sweet Lucy and Susan — not to mention any children reading or listening to the story — into the midst of a wild party in the woods that is unmistakably, astonishingly, a Dionysian revel! Lucy and Susan among the maenads, for heaven's sake! And there's Silenus drunkenly braying for "Refreshments!", repeatedly falling off his donkey and having to be put back up on (go read it for yourself!) All this amidst a menagerie of strange pagan creatures shrieking and hollering and playing their pagan flutes and drums and dancing their pagan dances. Vines sprouting and putting forth leaves and grapes to be plucked and eaten as they all caper through the forest in a literal bacchanalia.

So this is Lewis's Ideal Republic, his picture of Narnia resurrected and restored, his return to a mythological "Golden Age". This, in some allegorical sense, is obviously Professor Lewis's view of "the way things ought to be" — and set forth in a beloved children's story that has been almost universally embraced while apparently without being universally understood: for what the so-called Christian creator of Narnia seems to be telling us is that life as it was meant to be is... Dionysian.

With C.S. Lewis's answer to the question of whether Christianity is more Dionysian or Apollonian apparently answered decisively in favor of Bacchus, the question that comes to my mind right after "What exactly does he mean by that?" is "Where exactly does that leave Apollo?"

And there might be one more question, less important in the cosmic scheme of things, but still intriguing to consider: "What's Disney going to do with all this in their next Narnia film?"

DIONYSIAN CHRISTIANITY & APOLLONIAN CULTURE

C. S. Lewis's word picture of the Narnian Bacchanal which causes Nature to spontaneously spring to life on all sides in Prince Caspian reminds me of similar imagery in the Walt Disney-distributed Japanese animé film, Princess Mononoke. In that 1998 Studio Ghibli feature, the forest buds and blossoms in fast-motion wherever walks the majestic "Spirit of the Forest." The two films will perhaps make for a marvelous double-feature: Princess Mononoke and Prince Caspian. Then again, all that might depend upon whether or not Disney and partner Walden Media can, in the Narnian sequel, overcome their odd shyness about our friend Bacchus. Since production on Prince Caspian has been postponed and the release date pushed to 2008, we'll just have to wait and see. And while we wait, there are some questions to ponder and ironies to savor. For on the one hand, we have poor Bacchus and Silenus being chased out of Narnia by Ice Queens and Telmarines — and Disney, too, apparently, who excluded them from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. But on the other hand, the climax of the next book in the series turns out to depend upon unleashing these very party animals in a genuine Dionysian jollification. In print, the pagan sensuality may pass over readers' heads; in visual depiction, however, it may require a certain fig-leafing in deference to the target audience's sensibilities.

How unsettling to discover that Narnia is not a tame place, nor a tame story, nor Lewis a tame author! — and how much seems to come down to that little word "tame". Apart from deals with outside studios like Ghibli and Pixar, Disney has increasingly made its patented "touch" synonymous with domestication: the manufacture of carefully focus-grouped product designed to please a mass audience — with relentless maximizing of profits in merchandising and exploitation via theme-parks. The collision of Lewis's untameable lion and Disney's professional lion tamers restages the very battles for Narnia they're presuming to depict. What a showdown! Will Disney side with the suppressors and deniers of Narnia, who fear wildness and impose sterile control — who pretend that certain mythic creatures never existed? Or will they try to clean up the story to keep it safely within audience expectation? Will the studio risk becoming perceived as "Dionysian Pictures?" Or will they try to housebreak even Bacchus himself into a Happy Meal Prize?

Until recently, such questions would be addressed to longtime Disney boss, Michael Eisner, whose smothering reign at the company became in some minds reminiscent of that of the White Witch over Narnia. With Eisner gone, many hope for an end to winter and return of a Golden Age to Disney. In any case, Eisner's successors would do well to remember the fate of King Pentheus: those who refuse to recognize the divinity of Dionysus must pay their own terrible price for it.

Of course, there will also a terrible price to be paid if Disney strays too far from the expecations of those moviegoers they've identified as the core audience for this film. Hollywood has placed major bets on the so-called "Christian market". But like the Emperor Constantine, the Tinseltown moguls may discover that rallying all who take that name under the banner of a single orthodoxy is as problematic as getting involved in a land war in Asia. Certainly the larger portion (or should we say in this case "the lion's share") of the "Christian market" has always consisted of what used to be called "bourgeois religion": middle-class values baptized in the name of the local deity, religious language employed primarily to defend the status quo and demonize any threats to it. That sort of religion is built upon risk aversion: a faith that threatens one's safety, comfort or settled assumptions has never attracted much in the way of a mass audience. And a mega-corporation like Disney religiously believes in risk aversion, preferring to do nothing more than give the largest slice of the demographic pie just what it has been scientifically-determined that the people want.

It'll be interesting to see how they sand off the rough edges of this tale. Here's one: as Bacchus and his dancing friends party across the countryside, they invite others to join them. A young Telmarine girl, stuffed into the choking uniform of her school, accepts the revelers' invitation — and so they "helped her take off some of the unnecessary and uncomfortable clothes that she was wearing." Oh, my. Considering the considerable sexual overlay of the whole Dionysian myth, details like that will have to be handled very carefully. (I imagined I'm quoting a Disney production memo practically verbatim.) This story, however, is already out there in print, and will be seized upon by that portion of the demographic (a considerable portion of the "Christian market", BTW) who take delight in exposing the "pagan roots" of everything. My suspicion is that the maenads who whipped themselves into a lather to dismember Harry Potter will be on Prince Caspian like a black cat on a witches broom. They already are, though perhaps you haven't heard about it yet. You will.

In the meantime, Disney and Walden Media have themselves a tiger by the tail.

Or should I say... a lion.

Evangelicals would also seem to have a lion by the tail.

The appeal of C. S. Lewis to this large slice of "the Christian market" has much to do with the professor's astonishing ambidextrousness: the combination in Lewis of a scarily-brilliant Defender of the Faith with a writer of children's stories and fairy tales. That's something akin to a superhero who rids the galaxy of Evil, but also rescues kitties from trees. Or a multi-sport megastar who coaches Little League in the off-season. Or perhaps a mighty King of the Forest who lets the children stroke his mane and ride his back. Occasionally, I've wondered how many of those Lewis books Evangelicals are buying in such quantities each year are being read, or read carefully. Or whether his biggest fans are reading beyond the list of usual suspects to get a larger picture of a faith which often pointedly challenges Evangelical assumptions and culture. People love Screwtape and Narnia and Mere Christianity. But have they read Lewis's Experiment in Criticism, for one example, and seen how his literary and theological views in many ways actually coincide, and how a frequent target of his antipathy is a way of looking at the world which is supremely characteristic of Evangelicals' approach to both art and faith?

It will be interesting, if any eventual Disney-sponsored version of Prince Caspian does manage to generate controversy, to observe the ways the discussion develops among ordinary Evangelicals — as they consider Lewis's "fine print" (so to speak), specifically any implications of a more Dionysian sort of faith. To be honest, I'm not sure I understand all the implications. But it is a fascinating, and potentially paradigm-shifting, problem to consider.

For instance, given the age-old pairing of Dionysus with Apollo, and their endless tug-of-war, one question that comes immediately to mind after considering Lewis's vision of Narnia restored is this: Where's Apollo? From my perspective, it looks an awful lot like Lewis has identified Apollo — the god of order, clarity, and control — with the enemies of Narnia who must be defeated to set things right. That puts him on the side of Nietzche, who was also pledged to the downfall of Apollo. And then when you consider Lewis's self-proclaimed love of Norse mythology, and that both Nietzche's and Lewis's favorite composer was that notorious Dionysian, Richard Wagner, well, you gotta wonder to just what Ragnarok is all this über-pagan machismo is finally going to take us to...

...Until you remember the crucial difference between these two Dionysian visions — which I may have neglected to mention. Note this: Lewis doesn't oppose Dionysus to Christ, but rather he makes Bacchus the servant of the lion Aslan. In other words, Lewis doesn't loose Dionysus on Narnia unchaperoned, in all his wild, frankly-sexual, bodily-indulgent excess, but rather only in the company of Narnia's Christ-figure. My suspicion, however, is that it's even more important to keep in mind that Lewis equally refuses to exclude Bacchus from Narnia, nor does he seem all that inclined to tame him. We recall the young Edmund's comment that Bacchus seemed like a chap "who might do absolutely anything." And Susan nervously admits: "I wouldn't have felt safe with Bacchus and all his wild girls if we'd met them without Aslan." Susan can sometimes be a tad prissy and uptight, but in this case, even brave Lucy agrees: "I should think not." The upshot: Bacchus is allowed only in the company of Aslan. That seems an arrangement both sensible and prudent.

On the other hand, it does seem rather odd — from a Christian perspective, or at least from an Evangelical perspective — to exclude Apollo from a vision of ideal humanity. How can you exclude Apollo — the god of boundaries — as opposed to Dionysus, the destroyer of boundaries? Isn't Christianity first of all about order, clarity, law and absolutes? Isn't that generally what we mean when we talk about morality, goodness and truth? Pilate's question ("What is 'truth'?") is generally taken as a dodge, or an opening to relativity and anarchy. So perhaps a better way of putting the question might be "What do we mean by 'truth'?" And, in fact, an Apollonian brand of truth, especially in the light of its frequent association with the scientific enterprise, would seem to suggest an impersonal absolute that can be manipulated by those who know the formula. This view of truth becomes problematic for Christians as we consider the assertion of Christ that "I am the Truth." Or it should become problematic. Yet the fact that Lewis has to insist — repeatedly — that Aslan, his Christ-figure, is not tame indicates some people — stubbornly — think otherwise.

Evangelical religion, it should come perhaps as no surprise, has been as a historical phenomenon almost precisely coterminous with the Modern era, the age of Enlightenment, of Rationalism, of Apollo. With the nearly universally-proclaimed end of Modernity, the onset of the "post-Enlightenment period," its no wonder that so many Evangelicals think its the end of the world. "There is a Lilliputian quality to Evangelical faith," writes Fred Clark on this subject,
It seems to imagine God lying on the beach of our little kingdom, bound up with the cords of our propositions about him. That which is transcendent — truth, beauty, goodness — is too large for our categories and propositions. Too large for our idea of God. The idea that God might be bigger than we think — bigger than we can know or imagine or — can be terrifying. What if God should arise from the beach, shrugging off our tiny chains? Then we would no longer be in control. What I'm calling "Evangelical anxiety" is all about this fear of losing control. The nagging sense, lurking just below the surface, that we are not in control after all, no matter how much we insist we are. One result of this anxiety is a reflexive need to reassert that control, to interpret the world and respond to it in a way that reinforces the illusion that such control is possible.
Of course, it's not just Evangelicals who have exhibited a chronic tendency toward trying to maintain control, or the illusion of control: to tame or else exclude and deny elements that don't fit their ordering system, even at tremendous personal and societal cost. From a certain perspective, that behavior might be classed as "the American Way" — if it isn't a general human characteristic (that, nevertheless, seems especially pronounced in Americans, Evangelical or otherwise.)

Indeed, an argument might even be made that Lewis himself finds yet another means taming untamed reality. After all, his version of the story does not degenerate into the bloodthirsty orgy of violence of the original. So perhaps the place to begin criticism of "domestication" is with any Christian vision that turns the dark side of our human nature and condition into anything other than the tragic and absurd reality it actually is. Perhaps instead of submitting to Aslan, Bacchus remains the real god who is not tame; Lewis's hypocrisy would be that he founded his happy ending upon a wishful domestication of Dionysus. Perhaps Narnia really is a Happy Meal Prize.

That would certainly be the conclusion of most Apollonian science. And it was certainly the conclusion that laid the blanket of ice over the Western world which Lewis aimed to melt with his Dionysian Narnia. And certainly there are plenty who, like the Telmarines, would deny every old myth that presumed to resolve the tension that is being half-human, half-animal in such neat fashion. Faith in such a vision, as Lewis well knew, is like the faith of children in Narnia, and is liable to seem plausible only to those who have had some equally miraculous glimpse of it — perhaps even by means of Lewis's stories. Such faith would see in Lewis's myth, not a betrayal of the blood and indulgence and ecstasy of Dionysus, but fulfillment of it in the life and person of Jesus Christ.

At least, that's the way Peter Leithart reads the story:
The Dionysus of the Greeks offered only wine of death. Mad with the wine of Dionysus, the women of Thebes tore king Pentheus limb from limb, and Pentheus' mother blindly bore her son's head back to the city in triumph.. The wine of Dionysus leaves a trail of destruction, insanity, murder, cannibalism, warfare and rape… But Jesus, the true God of the vine, offers the wine of blessing and abundance, a thank-offering to God. The wine offered by Jesus cheers God and man, marks the renewal of covenant, and is shared by lovers. It is the wine of the new creation, drunk by the new Adam, Noah, after the flood cleansed the world. It is the wine of victory that Melchizedek brought to Abraham after his battle. It is "the wine of agape and the feast of fellowship," the wine of mutual joy. It is the wine, as Solomon said, that makes life merry.
Of course, there is a certain fine print on this joyful invitation to life: the relinquishing of control. Christ never promises his followers the sort of safety or certainty most hope for. Indeed, he promises quite the opposite. Most of us who think we've read the fine print keep discovering more all the time: so much of the ambiguity, uncertainty, discomfort, danger and lonliness we signed on to be "saved" from turns out to be precisely what we are called to. Indeed, I'm just as fearful and desireous of control and avoiding risk as the next Telmarine. And Apollonian analyses like this one can be one more attempted means to domesticate a reality that will just not be house-broken.

Life itself is a tiger by the tail. Our very natural fear is that releasing our grip is a bad idea, so we clamp down harder — on what we know, or what think we know, on what we have or own or command. But the lesson of C. S. Lewis's Dionysian Narnia, especially for those of us who have not only life but the King of Beasts by the tail, is that the most prudent course is actually... to let go. STUNG TO MADNESS BY DIONYSUS

So where does that leave us? "Shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid." The embrace of a Dionysian Christianity over an Apollonian one is in many ways no different than the acceptance of the Gospel of Grace over the legalistic imitations the Apostle Paul was always having to refute and shake off — except that, as is the way of law, the available legalisms threatening to encrust that pure Gospel have multiplied over the centuries. The paradox of law and grace will continue to confound those who seek a clear sign or formula instead of submitting to the contradiction that is the Cross of Christ. True enough, we still have to figure out, practically speaking, what the submission of Bacchus to Aslan might look like in our own day and contexts. (And all our good wishes go out to the Walt Disney Corporation for success with that project as well.) But my interest here has been primarily to guide us to that picture and leave us contemplating it: to orient our vision and attitude toward our faith rather than offer any practical advice on measuring form to freedom. Of course, that means I'm shrinking once again from the task of resolving the battle of Carnival and Lent. So maybe I was hasty in rejecting RUSH's quest for a "god of balance" after all! Then again, all the endless dualisms seem to be at the root of the problem, not the solution. That's why Lewis's undoing of the dualism of Apollo and Dionysus seems so promising to me. Indeed, "balance" can never resolve the conflict between Apollo and Dionysus because balance is itself a Dionysian solution: an Apollonion could never tolerate a both/and proposition, the unrelieved tension of unanswered questions. Apollo will not be crucified, as has been said, on the horns of dilemma. Dionysus, on the other hand, is the always dying, always resurrected god, the always double creature, half-and-half, like another Centaur, the eternally juxtaposed God-man.

The human condition itself defies the Apollonian demand for absolute order and purity: sooner or later Apollo chooses one side or the other, leaving something less than human. To be Dionysian is to rest in the quantum realities of a faith that insists, for example, that death is the way to life. "Quantum" refers to the subatomic world. The discovery that the quantum world did not obey the laws of Newtonian mechanics threw physics into a tizzy it still hasn't recovered from. Nothing was supposed to be above the laws of science, or any system with pretentions to science. Like the Telmarines, the systemetizers are phobic about wildness. Yet Christian Truth is Quantum Truth: a glimpse of the wholly untameable, a Truth that is neither law nor ideal nor concept but Person, who — while having a definate character — is subject to no law higher than Himself. A glimpse of that Truth is always personally threatening to those less truth-seeking than control-seeking — which probably includes all of us at one time or another. If we're paying attention, Truth won't just leave us petting its pretty fur, but — to use Kierkegaard's phrase — in "fear and trembling."

Peter Leithart again:
The wine of the true Dionysus is not safe. It is the wrath-wine of the holy God, the transcendent God, the God who escapes our every effort to control or corral Him. The wine of Jesus is the wine foaming and strong in His cup, wine that he pours out to make his enemies stagger and fall. The wine of Jesus too sends people mad, for some who come to this table are sick, and some are fallen asleep. This wine is not safe; but it is the cup of blessing. Why wine? Because the Lord of the table requires it, and He is the true god of the vine.
And for those who cannot bring themselves to take the strong and heady wine of blessing, Leithart concludes, "there is grape juice for minors in the center of each [communion] tray."

And so, from Memento Mori, through Carnival and Lent, and Dionysus and Apollo, we reach the end of this rambling, untamed seminar without finding any deus ex machina to save us from our unresolved tensions: only a rather unsettling Dionysian ambiguity. If the view from here provokes a certain sense of vertigo, of looking down at your feet to find them on a tightrope with no net beneath, well, that's just what carnival is supposed to do. And, if nothing else, the persistence of our efforts to build our own nets, even if they come to tangle and choke us, reminds us that carnival will always be necessary. Human beings will always need regular time outs to admit that their order is not absolute, not final, at best a compromise — full of situational practicalities prejudices and idiosyncracies and errors and makeshift under the best of circumstances. And maybe if you know that your net's not going to hold you anyway, that may help you to pay a closer attention to watching your steps.

I do wish we had more time to walk a little further out on this particular tight-rope, however; there remain a multitude of fascinating subtopics for further consideration.

It would, for example, be most enlightening — or should I say intoxicating — to survey the landscape of the Gospel and Christian history for clues to locating a more Dionysian faith. In so many places you can actually feel some ancient, even primal energy straining against whatever cultural container barely holds it back, ready to explode into something sensual, even (dare we say it?) sexual. The Passion of the Christ. The ecstasy of St. Teresa. The throbbing beat of that ancient prayer, the Anima Christi: "Blood of Christ, inebriate me." John Donne's poem, "Batter my heart, three-person'd God… Except you enthrall me, [I] shall never be free. Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me." You can almost hear the hypnotic rhythms of drums, the seductive melodies of the flutes, the sighs of the maenads, lost in their mad, whirling, self-forgetting dance...

And we could certainly talk more about C. S. Lewis in this connection, who throughout his writing divides human knowledge and ways of looking at the world into a division that coincides very well with the Apollonian-Dionysian opposition. Like Lewis the popular theologian, Lewis the literature teacher makes it clear that learning to engage with art requires wrestling away from Apollonian control a way of seeing that is closer to (he doesn't put it quite this nakedly) sex — as in "knowledge in the Biblical sense" — than in the abstract, practical, utilitarian, even scientific sense that some people approach art. Perhaps the very real relation between Dionysian seeing and Biblical knowledge is why RUSH pairs Apollo with Reason and Dionysus with Love, and also why N. T. Wright can call for Christian approach to knowing that makes knowledge not a subset of power but of love. (Some further investigations are obviously needed here. Stay tuned.)

Another direction we could have gone if we'd have had a few more seminar sessions is in further consideration of the deep psychological and spiritual wisdom of the ancient moral of the Dionysian myths: that we pay a terrible price for refusing to acknowledge ambiguity, mystery and finitude. The fact that tragedy invariably concerns a hero who, due to events out of his control, suffers and dies seems highly significant to me — especially given the human, especially the American tendency to deny tragedy and death. The question of whether a Christian view, the Divine Comedy — which includes both crucifixion and resurrection — can ever be truly tragic, is deep waters and we may not be strong enough swimmers yet to wander into that end of the pool.

But it does bring us bring us back to where we began, which is probably as close to a conclusion as we can get on this topic, some further consideration of the charms of "Sister Bodily Death," as St. Francis called her — "from whose embrace no mortal can escape." As I look over all those portraits of Francis with a skull, I've wondered if the secret to his detachment from the world and attachment to God, his sense of connection to the mystical heart of the universe, his carnivalesque, Rabelaisian, Dionysian leper-embracing oneness with all creatures, was rooted in his close, loving relationship with Sister Death. Perhaps Death is the leper we are called to embrace, our first partner in any Dionysian dance of self-forgetfulness. Perhaps Memento Mori is one thing we cannot forget if we are truly to forget ourselves. Perhaps remembering death is a prerequisite to truly living.

This year's theme for the Imaginarium has been "Days of the Dead". Today is the last day of the festival, tonight is the last dance in the Imaginarium. I hope to see you all there. Eu-oi-oi-oi!!!

Unbelievable!!!!

2006-10-19T21:34:00.000-06:00

3 outs left...

Is it just me, or does Wainwright look a bit like Jason Searby?

Crap, base hit.

Oh no, the kid is way too excited.

Another base hit.

I am going to be sick.

Strike.

Stike two.

Pick off attempt at first. Man, yaddy's got a gun.

Foul ball.

Please hit the ball on the ground...

STRIKE THREE!!!

2 outs to go.

Double play ball, please?

Nasty breaking pitch.

1-1.

I just realized that I am running commentary on this thing, and I may have to change my title from "unbelievable."

Fly ball!

2 outs!

Breathe. Breathe.

Man, I hate loduca...

Ball one.

Strike one.

3 - 1, crap, he walked him.

Oh no. Beltran is a cardinal killer.

Strike!!!

STRIKE!!!

Dear 8 lb, 6 oz baby Jesus!

STRIKEEEEEEE!!!!!

SERIES BABY!!!

Is it just me, or is this one of the best SNL skits ever?

2006-10-16T16:00:00.000-06:00

This makes me laugh. Over and over again.

Sitting here watching Glavine strike out Albert Pujols...

2006-10-12T18:33:00.000-06:00

I still believe though!

Do you all know that SoeYun is blogging again? Read about her hilarious battle with the toilet, here.

This age will die not as a result of some evil, but from a lack of passion.

2006-10-06T13:01:00.000-06:00

-- Soren Kierkegaard

Best. Music. Video. Ever.

2006-10-06T08:36:00.000-06:00

Where The Streets Have No Name Video - U2 lyrics

U2 Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure

And how about them Cardinals?

Do I dare believe?

2006-10-04T10:15:00.000-06:00

I mean, we looked GOOD yesterday. Surely, we can't win the NL, can we?

T.O., you see this book by A.W. Tozer?

2006-10-02T14:07:00.000-06:00

Ya, it's called "The Pursuit of God," not "The Pursuit of Killing Yourself"!

Snakes on a Plane: Doubt

2006-09-29T11:35:00.000-06:00

This semester's theme for "Koin" (our Sunday School time)is "Snakes on a Plane." We are taking a look at the lies that satan tells us. Those of you that had "Dynamics of Personal Evangelism" I am sure are brought back to R49, sitting and listening to the day in which we discussed those lies.

I remember Toad and I took some liberties with those:

"You sin too much."

"You suck."

"You're fat."

Good times! Anyway, so each week at "koin" we discuss an issue that Satan lies to us about. This week is on doubt.

Good stuff on doubt. Trying to weed through it all to make sense.

Thomas was given a bad rap. He was the first to say, "well, let's go die with Jesus", when they were going to visit Lazarus.

Lots of people claim to be skeptics when they really aren't. Skepticism leads to a quest for the truth, for figuring out what is true. Thomas was skeptical, but upon touching Jesus' wounds, he had found the truth and he believed.

How many times do we claim to be skeptical, but that is just an excuse for our unbelief in something? Miraculous healing, speaking in tongues, etc., these are all things that we are skeptical about, but it is easy to not actually seek the truth in these matters.

I remember sitting at a Cornerstone concert wit Darin, Toad, and Brant in which the lead singer of Three Crosses had this gem to share, "I just want you to know that if you are only 99% sure that you are saved, I am 100% you are not." At which point we all started booing. Well, that's in my reality anyway.

I think that when I talk about this to the Jr. High Kids this week, I am going to use very little of that. I am not sure that they will connect with any of that. I think I am going to focus on this simple fact: I know they doubt, because they don't ask any questions.

They all will shake their heads and say that they believe. Then they go and live like hell the rest of the time. If they truly believed then they would wrestle with questions all the time, and it is when you overcome these questions, is when you actually practice what you have wrestled with.

My proof of the fact that they doubt? That they don't doubt.

It's 3:15 on a friday and I am not close to being done with this lesson yet. :)

I have missed you, sometimes.

2006-09-29T11:11:00.000-06:00

Since not having a blog, occasionally I have missed having an avenue to write some thoughts down or just ramble about nothing. This will be that avenue for me, every once in a while I will post something, but I wouldn't expect much. :)